Growing pains

I've been going through a bit of journey with God in the last few weeks. I have strengths in The areas of loyalty and generosity however, I am weak in the areas of discernment and judgement. So, in the last few weeks I asked God to refine me. This is a painful task, so if it's not something you really desire don't do it!Because while I can see these changes occurring in me they have not been pain free. I asked Him to bring to the forefront the people who truly love me and desire to help, build, and grow me. I also asked that even if it hurts for the moment to move those who are not here for me or my walk, or my growth, I prayed that he would move them to the background and place them in shadow. Bring to light who I am to surround myself with. Even if it wasn't my initial choosing. I had gallbladder surgery this week. And it was a simple surgery with few complications. So at first I thought I'll just keep it to myself. I hate people thinking I'm begging for attention. But one evening during prayer and quiet time God said let them know and see what they do with it. That scared me! Big time! It's one thing to have people find out and ignore because their feelings could be hurt I didn't tell them. They just found out last minute and couldn't be there. Any number of excuses I've made for them a million times. At least then it's not because I'm just not important to them. But, due to my Fathers prompting, I let them know. And waited for the consequences.... Some answers came almost immediately while others were a little slower in revealing themselves. I realized immediately as I sat with a friend in my living room for two hours, saying nothing and everything God had placed a spotlight on her love and acceptance and ability to reciprocate the love and time I'd shown her. Some people from our church set up meals the first 3 nights. Feeding my family but also feeding our souls. Everyone wants to be important and worthy. And this small act of kindness meant the world. I had a friend come sit with me before surgery and tell me how much she loved me. Our new pastor came and sat with us, laughed and talked, he is the first pastor from this church to come sit with us at the hospital. Since he has texted and checked on me. Spotlight! Another friend caught me in the hallway before held my hand and the spotlight was on these two kind friends. Later this same friend brought flowers and the funniest card. I had a friend who has truly been my friend since the moment I met her, I have called on her and her precious husband for years for Christian counsel, and they drove from Bronte, to bring me homemade Jello in a butter bowl. Yep I see God. And cards and prayers and thoughts too numerous to count. Now some of the cards or texts I had hoped for never came. And at first I was so hurt. Then God said remember what you asked for baby. I know this is a true God thing because I am not mad, or angry, I don't wish anyone any ill will. I know that they are good people and have done many good things in their lives as well as mine. However, I am learning discernment and where I am supposed to be, and who should be walking with me. I am so thankful for all that God is doing in me, and in my life. God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill