Blessings in the storm!

My friends, what a week! I have been sick and could hardly talk or stop coughing. This was just the cake the icing is I totalled my car in a wreck! I am a little beaten and bruised and still getting over my illness, but it is easy to see God was with me through all these things. No one was seriously injured and we could have been. And after a couple of days of antibiotics I think I'm gonna live lol. I am so blessed to have a hubby who was quick to come hold my hand till the cars were towed away. He also went out of his way to make meals and care for kids. He is my constant blessing! I have my sweet boys who waited on me like true gentlemen! I have a wonderful group of girlfriends who reached out to be the hands of Christ to me and my family. Providing prayer and comfort, providing meals and pretty pink flowers =). I tell you I am a blessed woman. I prayed for true friends about a year ago during a very low point in my life and kids he has provided them in abundance!! I don't believe I can say this enough, God's love is extravagant!! He longs to show us his goodness and man how He has shown me this last week! So a huge thank you to my precious family, my beloved friends, and most of all to my Lord from whom all blessings flow!! (James 1: 17)

John 15:16 you did not choose me, but I chose you!

   God has created us for a specific role in a very specific place. No one else can do exactly what your unique role is! God has created us for those times when, how, where you can best be used. Times when you can most be yourself because it is what you were created for. And being a carbon copy of what you think a perfect Christian looks like just won't work for this calling. Strip away the facades, remove the veneers, take off the masks,and remove any pretense or disguise. Whats left is the authentic person, precious in the site of God. You are fully capable and distinctively designed to achieve His purpose for your life.God has gifted each one of us with something kids. He didn't make any wasted Christians. He has a purpose for each one of us. We are called to serve His will, His plan. He has seen the whole puzzle put together and knows where we all fit. See there is no use trying to be a corner piece if you're gift is as the middle piece.
     And friends QUIT trying to fit others into slots you think they should go. Only God is equipped to see their perfect placement in the body. It speaks volumes about our maturity as Christians when we are comfortable allowing others to play the role Our Father has cast them in. When you are comfortable with yourself, you'll be comfortable offering the same favor of acceptance to those around you. You'll be free of the time consuming frustration of seeking to fit others into your own personal set of expectations. You'll allow them to be themselves.
   Ephesians 2: 10 Gods handiwork created in Christ Jesus to do good works which God prepared for you in advance. 
   Some of this was borrowed from Resolutions for women and then countrified. lol. In all seriousness accept and celebrate the gifts of those around you extol them to others and raise up your brothers and sisters in Christ! Use the gifts God has given you as well! They are part of His design.
           God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill

Undeserving, unworthy, and beloved just the same!!

   Numbers 21: 5 they spoke against God and against Moses and said "Why have you brought us up out of Egypt to die in the wilderness? There is no bread! There is no water! And we detest the miserable food!" Amazing isn't it! It's easy to forget who and where we were and develope a sense of dissatisfaction with where we are!
    The Israelites had been slaves in Egypt and had cried out to God to set his people free! Deuteronomy 6: 21-23 speaks of all the miracles and wondrous things God did for these his chosen people. How they were rescued and redeemed. I love that! RESCUED AND REDEEMED! Brothers and sisters I just described me. God did wondrous and miraculous things to free me, his little girl!! I would venture to say he probably did the same for you. I would also say the life I lived before was slavery to sin and death I cried out asking him to free me as well. And in the moments following my rescue and salvation I extolled him in all things! Hallelujah and Glory to God!!!
   Then just like the Israelites, only a few short books and chapters later you find me lamenting the things he hasn't given me. I want a better job! I want a better house and all the finer things to put in it! I want a newer car! I want I want I want!! I can just see my Jesus sitting up there watching me with disappointment thinking " what more do I have to do for you daughter?" Have you forgotten what I've already given to you when you were undeserving?
   So conviction found me and reminded me of who and what I am. Undeserving, unworthy, but beloved just the same. The same holds true for you! He longs to meet all your needs and the good and worthwhile desires of your heart! Let it be in His time in His way, because His way is best! And always remember where you've been and where He's brought you to!
                God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill

Poured out and not a drop spilled =)

I have to say some of the best qualities I find in a girlfriend are honesty and loyalty. I appreciate the honesty of a good friend who is unafraid to call you out with gentleness, kindness, and at times brutal honesty! I've spoke to this before. I also offer my gratitude for loyalty. A friend who will stand beside you when you are broken and poured out and never let a drop of it leak out where it shouldn't!  These friends are better than gold! You know you have found that safe place to fall. That safe place to lay your burdens and know they will help you carry them and never share your "burden" with another without your permission. I have some safe havens in my life as I'm sure you do. I am layed bare in these places and the things I share here are not for public consumption. I would be devastated to know these matters so sacred to me had been shared flippantly with another. I trust in these friendships and have been afforded their trust as well. I hope I never disappoint these women through loose lips or disregard for what they hold dear and have shared for me to hold just as dearly. May God safeguard these relationships with these sisters in Christ. May he place a hedge of protection and a band of angels to guard our mouths from any one or thing that would stand against them. May what my sisters have entrusted to me be held sacred and close to my heart. Proverbs 11:13 says a gossip betrays a confidence but a trustworthy person keeps a secret! Wow I think God's word is final, so......God bless and keep you Ms. Jill

No words needed

With groans only you can comprehend. (Romans8:26) I love this statement! Have you ever had those times in your life when you were so overcome with hurt, anger, guilt or shame, that you had no words to offer the savior? All you could lift up to Him was the cry of your heart, the pain of your experiences, and the screams and groans of a wounded pitiful soul. It truly was all you had to give. I can tell you friends I have been there! I have screamed and cried and called out with never a word being formed. Believe me y'all he understood all of them and he stood right beside me His heart hurting with mine. See, He is my daddy! The only one I've ever known. He knows me and loves me he is angry with those who have wronged me. When I am hurt he hurts for me. When I have done wrong he desires to forgive me and bring me into right standing. I am His beloved and so are you!
   I also believe there are times when he speaks deeply into our souls. We hear no words but we know he has been there. I have a friend who wrote me following a prayer session where we prayed over her and she began to cry out. She wrote me later and said " ya know I was having such a meltdown last night, I don't know who was holding on to me, or what you were saying, but the prayers have worked." I responded to her saying "we were all holding you and it doesn't matter what I said, because He was speaking to your soul and it heard every word. I am so glad you felt His peace." (Isaiah 26: 3) Praise God He is so good!! He is so faithful!! And He is such a good listener and He knows just the right words to whisper to a soul in pain!

If we just get out of the way

That's how we've always done it. These people have always done that. That's what we've always used. That's how it's always been. Hmmmm....When I write these things what are your thoughts friends? I know for me I want to start with, what we've always done and used and the always people are good. No doubt. But when I think of Jesus ministry always been, done, used, and the same people doesn't come to mind.
    Jesus ministry was new to say the least. He taught things that were not the social norm and were in fact outside of acceptable beliefs within the church/synagogue at the time. He had a way of talking in riddles, parables,  causing men and women of this new faith to think in ways they had not before. He knew they could, my goodness, he created them. And yes I said women. See he didn't use the same people in the same way. He believed in the inherent quality and worth of women. Unheard of friends!! He sat with them and talked with them and even defended them before men of their time. He called them good and reprimanded the men who had always done it this way in this place. He wanted them to see that this new way was good and right. Don't believe me look to Luke chapter 7. My favorite love story in the bible! She was a woman of ill repute, she was living a sinful life and the whole town knew it. And on this day she did what was right and good in the eyes of the Lord. He used Peter the fisherman for his ministry, and ladies I am Peter! He was hot tempered and rough around the edges. He would have been no ones first choice to become a rabbi and teacher! However in Acts 4: 13 it says they took note of him and knew he had been with Jesus! Wow at some point in my life I pray someone says take note of her she has been with Jesus! He did a little redecorating at the temple. He turned over the money changing tables and cast them out. I'm sure someone in the crowd said but Jesus they've always done this in this way(.Mark 11:15). I could write on this all day.It seems Jesus almost never chose those people to do that thing! Acts 3:8 speaks of Saul's character and profession. It says He began to destroy the church. So friends would this be your choice for an apostle? A disciple? Of coarse not but God knows all and we know not! How many blessings would many have missed out on had Jesus not SEEN our brother Paul Living within him? Acts 9: 18 Something like scales fell from Saul's eyes and he could see again and he got up and was immediately baptized! God can accomplish anything with anyone! If only men will move out of the way and make His path clear.
      So all this being said God's people, church, beloved, will we continue to do it the way it's always been done? Will we continue to use those people, because we always have? Will we continue to use that music, equipment, resources, because we always have? Will it continue to be that way simply because it always has? Everything should be done though prayer and because it pleases the father. We must continue to grow in ourselves our churches our community and the world. Let that change happen. NO MORE SAUL NOW I'M PAUL!!
 

WIld wise women!

I led a bible study tonight. I am always so much more blessed by them than they are by me! I just love to hear women together in a room loving one another through laughter and supportive words. It always impresses me. I am new to the world of women friends! I have always had my Tyra. But let's face it we were cut from the same cloth, two peas in a pod. And LynnAnn ,well my word, we were seperated at birth!! We do not have to strive and work when we are together we just kinda rest in the friendship we have created. But a group of women??!! Well yes, actually. I never knew a gathering of women could be so freaking fun and constructive! So many of mine have been scary and destructive. However, blessing upon blessing, I have made wonderful friends in so many of these ladies but even the women I am just meeting, Wow, what a gift. I love the wisdom of the more seasoned ladies in this group. The words they have gained through tough experience and their kindness and empathy are so much something I strive to emulate. At one point tonight I looked up and saw that all the women were laughing and smiling and I thought God, you sure did a good job, your girls are amazing!! In Psalm 16:3 (the message) it says and these God chosen lives all around- what splendid friends they make!!! Hallelujah and amen!
God bless and keep you Ms. Jill

Housecleaning

So today I only worked till lunch. Then I came home and got to cleaning. As I cleaned I thought "crap when did it get this bad?" I wonder sometimes who are the slobs who live here? Do they just not care that everything is a mess? Or are they just so busy living their lives, doing daily chores and activities that there is no time to see how bad things have gotten and do a little upkeep?
   Well I happen to know "these people" and they are good people with busy lives and blind eyes at times. I know at times my physical home gets dirty and unkept but I also know my soul has been a hot mess lately! And that is no bueno. I find it's hard for me sometimes to see the way the sin and dirt is piling up in my heart! Unforgiveness just piles up in the corners of every room of my heart. Hurt turns into anger and anger acts out in meanness. I mean to tell you before I know it the mean girl is redecorating rooms that were held for my Jesus! Well you know what she needs? A boot to the butt! So out she goes again. I know she'll be back. She sneaks in when I'm tired and forget to lock the door. She dirties up the whole place and since "these people" aren't watching for it I sometimes need that precious friend who can say Whoa chica! Who are you being? And together we beat down that mean girl. Thank you God I have that friend! Remember when approaching a mean girl taking over a spiritual life approach with caution!! Well maybe not as much caution as gentleness(Gal. 6: 1). You know I am blessed for that accountability and I thank my faithful sister for loaning me her eyes! I pray she will do it time and again! Now let me go I'm not done cleaning the physical house and I'm back to work tomorrow. God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill

The church giggles

Ok I don't know if you remember being a kid and getting the giggles in church. It could be about nothing or everything, and even a pinch on the arm or a thump on the head could not stop it! Well I am a perpetual child! I occasionally get the giggles and it is not a good thing because recovery is nowhere to be found. I am thankful for all of the pictures of Jesus laughing and smiling. I am certain he knows that I love him and that I recognize his authority even when I am a mass of giggles! I think so many times church is not a joyful place to be and it's so akward to me and so in the face of the joy God wants us to feel at His table and in his home! Job 8: 21 He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy! Very cool!
                                                                                            God bless and keep you Ms. Jill

This is His house not mine!

My boys have the day off from school tomorrow. They will most likely sleep late and eat junk and play video games. They will probably call me once they are up and around to say momma can my friend come over and play. And depending on the kid and their history in my home when left alone I will probably let them. See I have to trust them to be good stewards of our home and our things. It reminds me that everything I have is God's and I have to choose to be a good steward of what he has given me. Luke 16: 11 So if you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth who will trust you with true riches? Hmmmm.... so God considers our history when deciding what to grant us. Yikes, well thank God we make new history every day. lol I have been a poor steward of what God has given me and I have been a faithful steward. I can tell you life is much easier when you follow His rules. Just as it's much easier when you follow Ms. Jill's rules. haha God bless and keep you, Ms Jill

Love like a hurricane

I am sure you've heard the song "How he loves" It speaks of love like a hurricane. I don't know a lot about hurricanes but I know they are overwhelming and lifechanging to those who experience them. They remind them of what is precious in their lives and what was simply sideline fluff. It reshapes lives and the landscapes that surround them. Wherever it has been you know it just by looking. I know God's love is like that. If you have truly experienced the love of God, You Know!!! He penetrates every part of your being and there is no corner of your world that is not reshaped by Him. I love when you spend time with someone who has died in the hurricane of God's love and been reborn a reflection of Him. If you know someone like that let them know how easy it is to see HIM in them! Galations 2: 20 I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but he lives in me. God bless and keep you Ms. Jill

So tired!

Well my friends remember how I told you I was flawed? Well I am. In the middle of a day filled with work I love and leading a ladies bible study Walmart Pharmacy tried my patience to put it nicely. I went in to pick up prescriptions for my husbands blood presure and my sons meds as well. They had not given us all of my sons medications because as they put it they didn't have it. So today I run in and the line is all the way around pharmacy and over the counter medications. I go to the girl in the window and ask how long is the line taking she said at least an hour. I said why? To which she said we are just really busy. I said but I see you all laughing and talking and eating Fritos. She shrugged her shoulders and I said well did you get my sons meds and she said Ya and pulled the bottle out of a drawer but the pharmacist said because it had been so long since the prescription was written I would have to get another prescription. I said so what you are telling me is because you didn't have the medication and you ran the time out I now have to drive to the Dr's office an hr there and an hr back to pick up a new script and then maybe you will have it and I can wait in line for an hour to get it. She shrugged. Wow I then told them I was done and would be moving my scripts to another pharmacy. That didn't seem to hurt their feelings (lol) but it sure left a bad taste in my mouth. I wonder in my anger if I did anything to make my Christ look bad? I did not scream at them and I did not curse at them but I did not pull any punches either. In short I will be moving my prescriptions and pay more money. But the new pharmacist was kind and tried his best to get everything done in a timely manner. I hope that all this will be a good move it will cost my family more but it will be worth it to be free of Walmart Pharmacy in Sweetwater Tx. The bible says let your no be no and your yes be yes. In other words do what you say you will do. God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill

Yep, get to shaken Satan!!!

Chance and Hayden jumping in the rain





 

So last night I went and sang with some friends and they were saying God must be planning big things with this group because Satan keeps setting up obstacles against it.While I hope that's true and that He will use us in amazing ways, it got me thinking. I know I talk about my kids all the time, but here it is again (lol). With both my pregnancies it took quite awhile to get pregnant and then we struggled to keep our pregnancies. With my first I was on bed rest from the 4th month on and with my second we made it to the 5th month. I had to take measures to keep both of them until they were cooked (lol) I pushed for 3 1/2 hrs with my first he got stuck in the birth canal and we were too far descended to have a c-section. Finally my tailbone broke and he was born into this world. With my second I had gestational diabetes, and tried to deliver so many times before my due date. He was delivered via c-section and had to stay at the hospital until his blood sugars came up. That being said I love the idea that God was planning big things for these two boys. I know several women who have struggled in the same ways and I have to laugh in a joyful way thinking these new people would be such a threat to Satan that he fought their arrival with all he has. Jeremiah 29:11 says" I know the plans I have for you "declares the Lord. I love that only He knows the plans He has for our kids and they are good!! But ladies may the devil be threatened every time we steer our Kids toward God's face and may they grow to be men and women of character in Christ!!

Let it snow let it snow let it snow!

I am sitting in my warm room with a glass of wine and I'm listening to sleet falling outside my window. it is super cold out there and so wonderfully warm in here. I am hoping we will have a snow day tomorrow. Even my honey is gonna stay home if we get some snow and my boss is wonderful to let me have off whenever the boys are off. I love these times when I can just be with my crazy beautiful family. I think sometimes we need time to just be still and rest and love and renew one anothers spirit. I love them and there is such a sense of comfort in that. I wonder if I spent more quiet time with my savior would we grow more and more comfortable with one another. Would I long for that time to just be completely who I am in his presence. I don't know about you but when I am home alone on a lazy day with Rick and our babies I have no makeup and I'm wearing track pants and messy hair. I am laid bare and I have no insecurities about it. God says in Psalm 46: 10 be still and KNOW that I am God. I love this! You can't KNOW someone without spending that time with them.  So thats my goal to spend this special time with my family and spend the same quality time with my Jesus. I want to grow more and more comfortable just hanging out with him.

Oh happy day!!!

So do you ever have those days when God just reminds you life is good and you are blessed! Amen and hallelujah! I went to church this morning and had a great time practicing with Brenda and my most beloved Rick. Then visited with 2 of my GG's one who doesn't attend my church but came this morning. My beloved niece and her precious boyfriend came as well. When I got downstairs another GG and very precious friend to me came and I knew immediately why God had chosen the song he chose for me to sing that morning. Wrap me in your arms was the song that was playing when this friend was saved! He is so extravagant with his love and his plans never fail to impress me. Proverbs 23: 26 My daughter give me your heart and let your eyes delight in my ways! WOW! Another GG invasion in the balcony and I knew God literally had wrapped me in his arms and this was my closest to Christ. I know he loves me but do you ever feel like he might be the only one who does? Well he's not! He has provided these women and men in my life who love me just as I am and who just wanted to come support me because they knew it would bless my heart! And all I can say is thank you thank you thank you!!!!!

AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Frustration!!

This night has been an exercise in futility!! I love to sing to the Lord. When I am singing I feel the closest to Him! I have few gifts but I do believe God has blessed me with a pretty good voice. I was asked to sing a song this Sunday. YAY! I had the perfect song in mind. Every time I sing it I feel good all over. If I was a doggie I would wag my tail. It makes me that happy! I had the chords (thanks Jennie and Jeremy). I had one of the most gifted Pianist in Texas to accompany me. I had the absolute BEST sound man running the mikes. I could not get on track with the music the pianist had. She could not get on track with the chords I brought. We wrestled with it and remolded it and went back and forth over and over it. Until my voice began to sound like Kermit the frog. I was so frustrated I felt tears well up in my eyes. I wanted to throw a baby bawl fit! Then it hit me I had everything I wanted and needed for this to work except I forgot to ask God what would bless him! What he wanted to hear from me. Instead I decided based on what I wanted to sing. So oops rewind. I came home and began to look through the music available to me. I called this precious woman who is willing to put up with me and still accompany me and emailed her the songs. And now I will pray about it and get some sleep.

                                                                                                       God bless and keep you,

                                                                                                                    Ms. Jill

Glory Girls- GG's

Aw the glory girls, what can I say about these precious ladies? Proverbs 17: 17 says A friend loves at all times and a sister is built for adversity. This describes these women! They are my friends but also my family in Christ. Every Thursday night we meet. We share laughter and tears. We offer accountability to one another without judgement. See I have a mean girl that lives inside me and they help me keep her beaten down and subdued (lol)  I often think how gracious my God is that he "built" these ladies for me in this season of my life. I needed them and didn't even know it. But now I do and I thank God for them often. I pray you have friends like these in your life as well! If not pray for them sister. God longs to give you the desires of your heart. You're his baby girl and he loves you, and his love is extravagant!

                                                                                                God bless and keep you,

                                                                                                         Ms. Jill

Not yet!

I don't know if anyone even sees this or hears my words but I'm enjoying writing and getting my thoughts down. I wonder as I'm writing this if I'm wasting my time and should I be in the other room doing for my boys. They go back to school tomorrow after the long Christmas holidays. You know I hate turning them back over to the cruel world. I worry for them all the time. They are such cool people and I would hate to see the world reshape them into their idea of cool. Hayden is my youngest and while he is all rough and tumble he has the softest marshmallow heart you could imagine. He is 11 and he still cuddles anytime anyone in the family gets still. He is the same sweet boy that cried and wanted to stop the movie when curious George was put in a crate by none other than as Hayden put it "his daddy" with the most disgusted look on his face. Hayden is fighter and like his Daddy he fights for those he loves or who have no one else to fight for them. He is so quick to laugh he is just a giggle box and that laugh is infectious. It is impossible to be grumpy with his joy all up in your face. lol. I love that he is confident to be that little man soft and hard all in one little brown eyed boy! And then there is my oldest Chance. He is precious to me in ways I can hardly express. He has the biggest and truest heart. His love is so absolutely unconditional. He cannot stand for someone to be hurting and there to be no solution. I cannot tell you how many times I have come home to him running down the stairs saying mom we have to pray for this girl/boy at school. Chance has autism and while he doesn't get allot of social cues he gets kindness and compassion like nobodies business! He is 15 soon to be 16 and I have seen changes in him. He is not as confident as he once was. He is not as trusting as he once was. See people can be cruel when you are different and so for Chance cruelty has reshaped him. However, it has not changed the core of who he is. He is brilliant. He is kind. He is loyal to a fault. I could learn so much about forgiveness from him. I pray as I send them back into the world tomorrow they will be covered by God's unlimited grace and goodness and I pray the same for your kiddos too.

                                                                                                         God bless and keep you

                                                                                                                      Ms. Jill

resolutions

Well a sweet group of ladies and myself are starting resolutions for women. I've only read the first chapter and so far so good. She speaks about contentment and how so few of us have it. You know being happy right now where you are, who you're with, what you have, and so forth. You know I remember saying to one of my patients once that I wished it was Friday and he said baby you're just wishing your life away. Hmmmm... makes you think.

                                                                                       God bless and keep you,
                                                                                           
                                                                                            Ms. Jill

A little more about me!

I had a friend come by and look at the blog. She said "It's good but I expected you to tell more about yourself." Friends I am an open book. That being said it's a long read! Lol. I am more than willing to tell more about myself but lets maybe do it in short stories instead of a war and peace type novel. (heehee) I told you last time that I was not raised in the church and that is true. I was raised in an alternative religion. We were on and off again Jehovah's Wittnesses. If this is your religious preference please know I have no desire to offend you. I can only tell my experience. This faith was not about a love story and salvation was not guaranteed. Jehovah was a vengeful God who desired to catch you in your sin and offer up his wrath. The elders of the church were self righteous and preached about a God who was unaccepting and frankly uninviting. I now call it the Jesus in the closet theory. He was just waiting in there to jump out and catch me being a failure and punish me with great wrath! JESUS GONNA GETCHA!!! All I knew was if THIS was God I sure didn't want to be around him. And so it was an allegiance to an organization and not a relationship with a loving being. I did not want him to see who I really was so certainly I didn't want to speak the pain of my heart or the failures of my life. See I was a child who daily experienced abuses and good grief who wants to take one more beating from another father. This was NOT the God I desperately desired to have in my life. Even so friends, even when I didn't know what I was so longing for, I had a deep hunger that could only be satisfied by Christ. It is taught in this religion that leaving and joining another religion would result in eternal damnation. So I wouldn't worship there and I couldn't worship elsewhere! Until my first son was born and the need to give thanks was so overwhelming! I tried a small church that honestly was under a tense and internal fued that could be felt physically. The women were catty and so caught up in their own hurt or felt a threat from me and I walked into a room where they were fervently discussing how much I did not fit and was not wanted. Sadly that ended my attempt at Christianity for 5 more years. When my son was 6 years old as we read the bible he said what does that mean and I said I'm not sure. He so sweetly said " we should go to church momma, they know." And that was that. I began to look for somewhere to worship. I researched different religions and churches in our community. And I began to talk to different people. One of the sweet women from the church I had previously attended visited my home with one of the women who had been "chatting" about me when I left. She was so apologtic that this had happened to me, and that someone would do this. She didn't even remember that SHE had done it! I realized then and there that everyone is injured and failing and that most of the time it doesn't actually have anything to do with you personally. I returned to that church for a total of 5 years and though I still love them dearly they continue to be plagued by a divisive spirit and they represent a very disjointed part of the body of Christ. They have been hurt and wounded by one another and as a result, pride and pain have caused incredible scars that have yet to heal. Galations5:15 says If you keep on biting and devouring one another Watch Out or you will be destroyed by one another. During my time at this church I made a profession of faith. Looking back I don't feel I was truly saved at that time I simply knew this was the next step so.... I stepped. My salvation came in the middle of the night lying next to my husband and God showed me everything I had done wrong, and everything horrible that had been done to me. I was crying and I said why are you showing me all this? I can't go back and change it. I can't undo it. And I can't fix it. Jesus said but I can and I will never remember after tonight. That night I gave my life to God. I prayed the believers prayer and I came to know the God who I am so in love with now. And I feel Him so strongly everyday. I cannot imagine anyone could mistake those other idols as God! But I did and it was such a hopeless existance. Once you've encountered Jesus you will never be the same. I tell you the very atoms in your body will be changed. Does that mean you stop being you I don't think so but you are changed for the better. You have hope you have never known before and you can finally breathe. A weight is lifted from you and you begin to have purpose. Amazing love! I now attend and serve in a church that is truly alive! God is present and his voice is the loudest! They are our family and we are thriving in our Christian walk. Of coarse I am human and I fall and then have to get back up again. But I think thats the story and the path of a true Christian. There are ups and downs as you walk beside Him. But I will continue to walk beside HIM. I hope that you know this same love but if you don't, please email, message me, or leave a comment and I'll be glad to talk it over with you. He loves you! He wants to be with you and forgive you! I hope you will let him.

                                                                                                          God bless and keep you,

                                                                                                                       Ms. Jill

Here we go!

Wow, so here we go. I am not sure exactly what I'm doing and I am definitely not a writer by any means. I have not always been a Christian. I was not raised in the church and came to know Christ as an adult. That being said, I think of it as a blessing now. I do not approach my Christian walk the same as I may have had I been indoctrinated with conventional religious expectations. Don't get me wrong I cannot imagine my life without my church family! And I would not want to raise my family without this sense of community and accountability. I'm simply saying I didn't know what a church lady was supposed to look like or act like and so I didn't aspire to be that. I love the story of David and how he was a ruddy sheep farmer. That it was so unlikely to his family that he would be God's chosen they didn't even call him in from the fields till Samuel asked about him. I love that God calls him a man after his own heart even though his story is one of failure and redemption, that when he was in the midst of his sin he did not pull back from his Father  but stayed in close relationship with Him. He knew that life spent with God in repentance was so much better than a life of pride without him. He was so in love with Father God that he had no problem being humble in God's presence even though he was the King of a chosen people. I even love that he threw fits and cried out to God. He was a total drama king! Don't believe me read Psalms 22. Anyway through it all God loved him and he loved God. It never wavered. It never changed. That is a true love story. And I am a sap for a good love story!!!!
                                                                                    God bless and keep you,

                                                                                       Ms. Jill