Clear the table

   Who am I? I ask myself this question from time to time. More often than not in my day to day life I am: Rick's wife, Chance's mom, Hayden's mom, the driver, maid, laundry lady, Nurse and so on and so forth... Many of these are not who I am but what I do. And the ones that do represent who I am are not the truest definition of me.
   I have wrapped my identity firmly around my actions, what I do. Well the last couple of months I've been consistently praying God would help me see who I am. And boy he has been but I've been playing blind and refusing to see. Last night I had a dream. I was a table scarred and dented and damaged and worn. He came to me and covered me in the most beautiful cloth iridescent pink and purples soft to the touch and I knew I was a child of God! In that moment it was the truest thing about me! Over the years I piled on and began to identify with objects placed over my salvation cloth. A hymnal 📔, "I am" a baptist. A microphone 🎤 "I am" on the praise team. A Christmas musical script, "Iam" a children's music leader 🎶🎵🎶. A set of van keys 🗝🔑 " I am" a youth worker. A Tshirt with a reunion group name on the front, 👚 "I am" a part of this group. A wedding band💍, a nurses cap⛑,a mom jersey🏉, a graduation cap🎓... I am I am I am.... And slowly my salvation cloth was completely covered over. I could not see it. And I could not feel it.
   Now all of these things are good! They are needed and important to our father and to the kingdom. Again I say they are good, but they are not the truest thing about me! In life and in this dream, God began to remove things. Things that I wanted desperately to hold on to! I felt my value and my worth were tied up in these things. I hold no ill will towards anyone or anything that was removed from me, because regardless of what anyone would have done God would have removed them. He is a jealous God and will not tolerate idols. And that's what these had become to me. In the moment I was crushed and overcome with shame and who am I then? Now back to the dream. Some articles remained. They are a part of who I am. A wife and mom, a Nurse. But as each of the things I identified with were moved and removed it became easier to see my salvation cloth. It's beauty, it's importance, and it's peace. I was in awe of how his mercy and Love covered every inch of me. And though I the table, could be seen through the opaque cloth, I the table could not be seen without looking through His covering!
   I woke up crying. And overwhelmed with how foolish I've been to put so much of my identity into these things, places, and people. And I have done it for years.

THE TRUEST THING ABOUT ME: I AM A CHILD OF GOD. Thank you Abba Father. Every time I place an idol above this truth and our relationship, I pray you would remove it and remind me who I am at my deepest cellular level!