Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Times not on my side

   Time is flying by so quickly with my boys! I remember them being tiny and almost all my time being spent with them. They are older and branching out now and believe me, they don't want to be with me all the time. However, no matter what they say, I know that when they get to their activities; track meets, plays, games, what have you the first people they look for are myself and their father. And, I am heartbroken when I am unable to attend any of these events. Not because it is so fun to stand in a dirt storm, or get sunburned, or eat concession food for supper, but because these are memories I will never have another chance to create. I love when they are telling about an event and they or their friends say "you should have seen your face momma/Jill!" I want them all to know how important they are to me and how proud I am of their accomplishments. I pray they do. I think they do.
   Next year is Chance's senior year, and I have spoken with Rick because I don't want to miss a thing. I know that is not always possible when you work,but man it sucks! I carry a lot of guilt over not being there for them on these milestones. But, I hope that what I give them is quality instead of quantity. But I often wonder? Ladies, how have you handled this? What decisions did your family make to tackle these challenges? Rick takes off a lot to make their events and his work is so accommodating to whatever our kids have going. And to a degree mine is as well, however, the nature of my work is different from Rick's. I love my job! Don't ever think otherwise, but gosh it's a struggle. My heart is for my kids and my prayer is that they always know it.
Proverbs 17:6  says parents are the pride of their children.... I hope that's true of mine.
   I pray about this often, my prayer journal is full of these wonderings. I have to believe other moms struggle with this as well. How do I be there for all these last moments of their childhood without giving up everything else? Well I have yet to figure that one out....
  God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill

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