Today I find myself home sick.=( Head is killing me and I can't quit coughing. However, I also can't lay down, well, I can't lay down and breathe. I'm really attached to breathing. =) So I thought "you know I haven't blogged in forever!" And there's so much going on in my life I really should!
I am in love with life right now. I have been crying out to God for years saying you know the desires of my heart! I guess they're never gonna happen for me. Why not me? Poor pitiful me! LOL And while as I've told y'all, God wants our broken moments the same as he wants our celebrations, You cannot sow defeat and expect to reap success. ie Mustard seeds begat mustard. Sunflower seeds begat sunflowers. And defeat begats defeat!
Well I did a study from Joel Osteen called "I Declare!" And I am changed. Not because of my brother in Christ Joel (no offense) but because like a big brother he reminded me of the words of our Daddy! throughout the bible God reminds us that our words hold power.
So, your job looks bleak. You work hard with no recognition, while others receive reward for warming a chair. Proclaim, God I will not believe my failing human eyes and ears that tell me no reward waits for me. Instead I will say, father surely your goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life!
So your marriage is not what you've always desired? Proclaim father I know what me and my honey have created in our humanity. But, I also know that you can resurrect it into new life! Remember, nothing is so dead God can't call it back to life! Remember Lazurus? Dead so long that Martha said but surely Lord he stinketh!! Yep others have probably caught a whiff of your marital decay. SO WHAT! God's got this!
So you always wanted to sing for His Glory, And when you were an intrigal part of a praise team he led you elsewhere? Happened to me. When I arrived at a new church home there was no room for others to sing with the praise team. They are very talented and gifted for music. The praise team changed over almost completely and still no openings. I laid myself bare in an effort to be included in any way. I was told my voice is not a fit for this team and my songs and music I brought to sing were used and sang by others. I became very down and asked God to take this desire from my heart. There will never be an oppurtunity for me. WAHH BOO HOO!! Well my words definitely dictated my life. I began this year fear free! I said I will not be my harshest critic any longer. I found this study and began to see the truth of just how much power our words hold. I began to proclaim if you've lain it on my heart you will open doors and oppurtunities that should be closed off to me. I began to say "Daddy thank you that you have enough oppurtunity for all your kids! That you go before me softening hearts and making pathways straight! I was given an oppurtunity to sing for emmaus, but not only that to sing with some of my favorite most prized friends. Most from the praise band I had previously sang with! Oh ya He's good like that! =) I have been given oppurtunity to sing with the praise team during revival, and I have sang several specials. I realized an oppurtunity to teach and work with our childrens choir and they are so talented and their hearts desire is to sing to the King! And my hearts desire is to help that in any way! And all I can say about it is JOY!! I am filled with joy to spend time with them and I remember what praise is supposed to look like! PURE SURRENDER!
While this is not the only desire of my heart that he has brought to fruition in such a short time it is the one I tell you of first, because it was one of the most painful for me. I know it sounds silly and small but to me it was not. And to many of our brothers and sisters their unmet callings remain painful as well. While in the past I would not have lain myself bare for fear I would be judged or look pitiful. And somewhere I'm sure right now someone is reading this and thinking well I don't like her voice. So what thats your biggest issue. Of course not. But God wants our little stuff too.
So I will proclaim my fathers plan for my life and the lifes of those I love! And, I will live in full expectancy of His goodness and mercy! What are you expecting for today? Procalim it!!
God bless and keep you,
Ms. Jill
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