Beacause she loved me.

   Good morning y'all. It's Saturday before Mother's Day. What does it mean to be a mother? Mom? Momma?

   I did not have the best example of this in my mother. She was angry and bitter and cruel. I was off and on raised by my Granny. When I was with her I was loved and told I could accomplish great things. I was told that I carried value just because I am her Jillian. The very thing my Mother found offensive she found beauty in. She was much older and confined to a wheelchair, her face covered in wrinkles, where big brown eyes stared out from behind big hoot owl glasses. She cussed. She loved a good cold beer. She loved to share stories of her and my Grandaddy Lee's great love for one another, And she always thought the answer to a hurt was food. This could be my issue today, 🤔 but I digress. She was quick to lay down the law, and hand out the love ❤️ She did not lower the bar because of who I was or what I came from. She said it was because I was good enough to reach it and that spoke volumes. Someone expected something out of me?! And I would break my back to meet that bar and I would fail and try again and again. And because of this the bar got higher and higher and through failure and effort I continued to meet it. I think that's an amazing thing! How do you look at a dirty little foul mouthed angry kid and say, I love her!? I see beauty and potential in her?! I don't know friends, but she did! I was not one of those hallmark kids you see who are quiet and easy to love. I was hurting and angry and I wanted to hurt others to relieve my pain. I did not trust people especially those who were very kind because that is how you get hurt and taken advantage of. So what that looked like was not hurt and pitiful it was angry and aggressive. But Granny saw past it and God created her in such a way to break down or climb walls every time I rebuilt them. I miss her often and wonder if she would think I'm a good mom? I hope so I wish she could have seen Chance grow. I wish she could have met Hayden. She always said Chance was just like Rick, and oh how she loved Rick. She would say he was a good and important man. She was right but don't tell him that 😉. I know she would have been so tickled by Hayden. He is my little mini me in so many ways she would have loved that. So today I remember my Granny and I May cuss a little and have a cold beer for her!
   To those who struggle today, you've lost a child or are estranged from them. You struggle with infertility or miscarriage. You've lost your mother, or never really had one. I am truly sorry. I am praying for your hearts today. Please allow Father to wrap you up in His lap And to love on you! And hey if you need a hug, a good word, or prayer from this chubby momma. Just give me a call, I got you!