Blessed be the name of the Lord!

   Blessed be your name, in the land that is plentiful, where your streams of abundance flow, blessed be your name. Blessed be your name, when I'm found in the dessert place, though I walk through the wilderness, blessed be your name. Beautiful words. And though the former is easy to do, it is the latter that defines us as Christians. It is easy to raise a shout of praise in the sunshine, and maybe a little harder to do so in the dry dessert places. Don't begin to imagine you are alone in this, I'm right there with you. But I have to believe that in praising Him even at times of struggle we can find peace. As a Martha, as a control freak, as a woman taught very early on to take care of the important things yourself, as a fixer, it is hard for me too. I often find myself wanting to move faster than my Father. Letting myself at times outrun His plans. However, I want you to know I am learning to stop and appreciate where I am in this earthly walk. I am learning that even in these trials there is reason to praise a Father who is willing to deal with a pouty child to get her where she needs to be and to chip away what is unhealthy to save the soul. I Love to be loved but I have learned in raising my children, there are times when they will not be saying "my mom rocks!", or " she is the best!" However, it is so worth it to lead them to the path they need to be on. And I know that even in the midst of such times they still love me, and they are still thankful to have a mom who expects and knows they can be more and leads them to this. I still get a nightly "I love you." I still get thank you's." And these mean so much to me! I know that our Father also loves to hear the praise of His kids knowing they love and appreciate Him, even when they are hurt or have misunderstood where He is leading them. So I offer up that I know who you are God, no matter what you do, or where I find myself! Blessed be your name, Jesus!
God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill

Only if I let you =)

  No one can steal your joy unless you give it to them. True. However, a horribly negative attitude can be a hard thing to overcome. I spent today listening to how everything I had to say was lame and my opinions stupid. And I was enlightened of these facts in front of my clients and other staff. Everytime I began a conversation it was quickly turned back to and taken over by this person. The problem was not mine but his,but man, an eye roll just says a million times over how absolutely irritating and insignificant they think you are. Well, about 3 this afternoon I took my break and prayed, and prayed, because this person was stealing my joy and making me look foolish. God clearly said to my heart, "He's making himself look foolish and he isn't stealing your joy you're giving it up." So out loud I asked God to bind the hands of Satan, and asked God that where there was pain, hurt, easily offended, easily angered, instead there would be the Holy Spirit. Love, peace, joy, slow to be offended or angered, and confident in my role as a princess to the one true king. I prayed for joy and laughter bubbling over. I immediately felt peaceful and lighthearted. I guess you could say I took back my joy! So much can be learned about others by the way they treat you. And, likewise, so much can be learned about ourselves in how we handle it!
   God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill 

Date night!

   After almost 22 years I still get excited for date night! I feel like a little kid going to the carnival! I cannot wait. All day I think about it. What will I wear? Where will we go? I am so excited to have my beloved all to myself. He is Rick, Jill's hubby and best friend and fellow weirdo. He is not Daddy, not Rick the programmer, not deacon Rick. Nope he is just mine... for the night anyway. We talk and laugh, we go have a nice dinner and conversation. We don't worry, but we do dream together. Tonight we talked about how we could turn our house into a dream home. All the amazing things we would do if money was no issue. We dream about where we would go if money was no issue. We dream about what our boys will be one day. And we talk about where God will take us. And we are refreshed and renewed. We fall back in love and we need it!
   I invest in my marriage during these times. I respect that man! Wives don't talk about him as though he were a failure. He can't do anything right! He's so selfish! And the worst for me, He's such an idiot! Well he chose you sister, so he can't be too stupid. Right? Remember the good things about him. What did you fall in love with? Was it his smile? Was it his deep voice? Was it the way he held the door for you? For me one of the first things I fell in love with about my husband may seem really small to you, but to me, a girl who had been raised on negative speak and was fluently speaking it myself, it was his reprimand saying, dang Jill don't be so negative. Yep that's no biggie, I get it. But for me, that was huge! Think the best of people and yourself. Hmm, simple enough right. But, if you've never been given an example of hope and positivity, it can be life changing. But that's not all, if you ask my husband what some of his favorite things about me are,  he will tell you,that I am bigger than life, that I feel big and I put myself out there, my laugh and my sense of humor, that I'm smart and kind. Wow, when you've seldom heard these things about yourself... well scripture says it best, the power of our words holds life and death, and he spoke life into me. Before I ever knew the love of a savior, he showed me a glimpse of unconditional love. And led me to the cross, to meet the lover of my soul. And I love him for it!
   Husbands be to your wives what Christ was to the church. He gave her all! He did not say I have work to do. He did not say I'm just so busy with life. Get the door for her. Do not let her carry a heavy load when you can help her. Do not put your needs ahead of hers, because Christ never did! Love her and hold her in high esteem. Lift her up when in her company, and when you are with others. Always be in her corner, and she will do the same for you! Love one another! It's that simple.
  God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill
  

However you get there...

   I have never been one to argue scripture for scripture with anyone. I know the beautiful stories and truths contained within it's pages. I struggle with the addresses =). I have been a lover of the word for years now. It was an introduction to a most amazing Lord and savior. If you don't know Him, get in the word. It is a comfort to me. It is a bolstering and a strength to me. It is a recollection of all the times we have failed Him and He has looked upon us with love and favor. We his "stiff necked people." Don't think you are stiff necked? Look back on your history. Or at least look back on mine! I have tried time and again to take custody of my anointing, my calling. I have told my precious redeemer "no seriously, they don't want me there, I think I'll do this instead." I have packed the dreams he laid in my heart away in a box, time and again, and left Him the work of unpacking them and placing them back where they belong. I have taken over all the decision making for my children, forgetting they were His first and He has bigger and better dreams than I could ever imagine. I have been the angry self righteous Christian, Who's main focus was to prove to you that you are wrong and I am right. I've seen Christians trying to prove to others that their religions are pipe dreams and long held traditions trash to be thrown out. Here is my take on it, my sweet brothers and sisters. If holding on to traditions helps you to worship and grow more in love with Him do it! He doesn't care how you get there He just wants you close!  We will all dance with the lover of our souls but no two dances will look alike. As long as you know the cornerstone of Christianity is a profession of faith that he gave up divinity to come to Earth and live a perfect life to take on our sins, and have them die with Him on the cross, and that on the third day He rose again! And if you ask Him to enter your heart and be the Lord of your life you have been reborn. Then it's all good! In fact it's all amazing, the grace and love he has shown to us! That while we were yet sinners, He loved us!   
   One of the things I will say is if your beliefs are different from mine it does not make me angry, at times it might make me sad, but never angry. See God's truths are written on my heart and in my soul. I know them and you thinking differently does not change my assurance in Him. I will not argue theology nor religion, I simply want you to know your fathers love and redemption. I do love all of you and pray God is leading you and guiding your steps.
   God bless and keep you Ms. Jill

LOL...No really do it!

   How funny! What a hoot! That's hilarious! Laughter truly is the best medicine! Through it our souls are strengthened, did you know a smile can add years to your life! It is almost impossible to remain angry when you are smiling. Try it. Plaster a smile on your grill and see how long you can truly be angry. I dare you. You can't! And even though you may not feel like smiling, do it anyway. Fake it till you make it! And before you know it, you will genuinely be happy. I want you to daily remember three things that just make you joyful! Psalm 126:2 says Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, "The Lord has done great things for them!" Does your affect', your demeanor say about you the Lord has done great things for them? I'm not just talking to you brothers and sisters, I'm talking to me.
   So three things that make me joyful: 1. I am forgiven! I am redeemed and I am beloved! If you don't know the Love of Christ, you will never know true joy. 2. I live with my best friend! Rick and I get to have a slumber party every night, and I get to laugh and be completely nuts with him all the time. I really do think he's the funniest person I know, most of the time. Rick and our boys and I have a very weird sense of humor and I am thankful for their weirdness! 3. I have a set of girlfriends who are HILARIOUS. They make me laugh and sometimes snort! They are fabulously funny! And I am grinning just telling you about these wonderful blessings!
   So try not to take yourself or your circumstance too seriously. You know the end of your story just like I know the end of mine. WE WIN! And don't tell me God doesn't have a sense of humor, he made me and you ;)

Loving Delivery

   Friends, please when sharing your message of Christianity do so in gentleness and love. 1Corinthians13:13 and now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is Love. Not the greatest of these is passion or power. Not the greatest of these is fire and brimstone. Nope! You will never scare someone into a true love relationship with Christ. You can only come to love some one by way of love. I've heard people say I'm so frustrated don't they know they'll go to Hell. Sorry if they don't like my delivery. Doesn't sound sorry to me brothers and sisters. Sorry comes from sorrow and regret for what was done. Sorry usually trys to change its ways.
   I have no doubt that these people want others to come to Christ, and know an overwhelming love relationship with Him. However, I doubt that anger or frustration will ever be a catalyst to a true heart change. I have always been of the belief that you can love on someone and give them a glimpse of God. I do not believe in reminding them of what they've done and shaming them for not getting there soon enough. Friends remember THEY ARE LOST!
    My loves I tell y'all this not to chastise you. I love you and want your testimony to bring more and more lost souls to the kingdom. It's a hard thing to tell people of God's unconditional overwhelming love and redemption with a harsh tongue or spirit. It's kinda like a screamo love song its hard to hear the words for the delivery. Blessings to all of you and thank you for your willingness to tell others about Him. I pray empathy and Love will guide all our conversations.
   God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill

Unashamed to call me your own!

   I'm your beloved! Your creation! And you love me as I am. You've called me chosen for your kingdom, unashamed to call me your own. I'm Your beloved! Man I love this song! I adore the message. Unashamed to call me your own! Do you get that guys? He is a proud poppa! Telling people do you know my baby girl or boy? They are my beloved. I created them in just this way.
   Friends, thank you Jesus for the amazing gift of a fathers love! I had never known this kind of love till Jesus found me. I LOVE TO BE LOVED! It makes me a better person. It makes me desire to be obedient, and when I fall, to rise again. And now that I know the love a mother feels for her children, I know the overwhelming pride and wanting the very best and expecting the best from these precious little people. And God's love is ten fold more than ours will ever be. When you find yourself fallen in your sin and you think well he'll never forgive me for this one. Just think what could your children ever do that would make you say that's it I'm done? I know the answer for me is nothing. There is nothing they could do to lose my love. And daughter or son there is NOTHING you can do to forfeit the love of your father!! NOTHING!! Will he be hurt or disappointed? Yes. But He will be so much more disappointed if you distance yourself from Him or fall into self destructive behavior. He ALWAYS desires relationship with you. And like any parent he is still carrying around your picture in His wallet and your artwork is on His fridge! He loves you as you are! And He is unashamed to call you His own!! His love is extravagant and overwhelming Bask in it!

Do you see what I see?!

   Isn't it amazing how another's opinion can help to move us forward or bring us to a full stop. I know it's happened for me in my own life. And I've seen it in the lives of others. I love when a kid who has been labeled as rebellious or "bad", is given new life in the eyes of an important (to them) adult. I have been working with kids since my firstborn was little and we began teaching mission friends. We found that a lot of times when good meaning adults want to help you out they will tell you the history of these "problem kids". I found I wanted to raise the opinions of these kiddos not only in the eyes of others, but in the way they saw themselves. I have often talked about the bar. About meeting it where it stands. About not lowering it to meet where we are. I have found that time and time again, these precious little people will rise to the occasion. They want to be everything they can. See I believe we are born with an opinion of who we are and what we can accomplish. I believe it is God given. See God does not create us to "get by", to be "enough" or "OK". He creates us to shine! He has fabulous plans for us, for our lives! Yet, we allow ourselves to be talked out of it. What?! We allow ourselves to believe the words of others as more important than the words of God.
   So I simply choose to remind these sweet kiddos of the amazing plans their father has for them. God will quickly bring to light their strengths! This kid who can quickly turn a room into a chaotic circus, is actually a very gifted leader! This kid who cries easily and is so easily offended, is a perfect candidate to become a big sister or brother in your ministry family. They are often the ones who because of their soft hearts and Kind ways can mentor smaller ones and help with conflict resolution in their peer group. And the one who is quiet and shy actually wants to be loved and recognized as a special child of God and important for their role.
   Recognize everyone has a special role to play. And it is not the role we create for them! See them as their heavenly Father does!
   God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill

And He talks with me =)

     I wake up and pray every morning before I ever step out of bed. I have to, see, we are planning mine and my families day. He is reminding me of promises he's made to me time and again. Speaking into my soul that he loves me, he forgives me, and we will start brand new this morning. I speak His truths aloud because I am a strong believer that our spoken words hold power. Almost every morning I thank Him for His favor and for making my pathways straight and opening hearts and supernatural doors to me that should be closed. I proclaim the same over my husband and my kids and I encourage them to do the same. I am always reminding them and all those I love not to speak their own defeat. "I am so fat." "I'll always be broke." "Things will never change for me" Instead say, "I have all the tools I'll ever need to lose this weight." "God is turning things in my favor even as we speak." "God has good plans for me. Plans not to harm me but to prosper me." I pray over my two boys every morning before school, and I hope that they will carry this same practice into the lives of their own children. I want them to have a legacy of love and relationship and power in being a part of a royal priesthood. I  mean can you imagine having a father who is a kind and loving King. Ruling over His people with Mercy and grace, equipping them for any and every battle and then not taking advantage of that. He has told us throughout scripture the power of our prayers and spoken words. So talk to Him often and through out your day. Let your Father be the first one you speak to in the morning and the last conversation at night. Till it's so second nature you find yourself doing it without even realizing it! This is a true prayer life.
   God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill

How did we get here?!

   I am a bit of a chameleon. I can conform to any situation and I have a very eclectic group of friends. From the upper echelons of society to my trailer park true blues ;-) I have very little difficulty maneuvering between these groups and think they are so much more alike than they even realize. I love hearing peoples histories and knowing their backgrounds. Isn't it funny the picture of someone can be so two dimensional to us until we begin to dig a little deeper. I will always remember one night arguing with a woman about the correct way to discipline some kids we were working with. I told her I don't want to lower the bar because they will meet this lowered expectation. She promptly said to me "You don't know anything about these kids. I come from where they come from, we weren't born with a silver spoon in our mouths like you!" She had plenty more to say to me that evening, but I don't remember it all. I remember standing there thinking who is she talking about and who does she think I am. I realized she had a very skewed opinion of me, and I began to wonder, how many times have I set up a background story for someone in my path never caring to "verify the facts". And I have to admit it happens more often than I realized. I know it's easier to decide that the one who has hurt you in some way is the bad guy in a Disney movie. But it brings me back to a study I did that spoke to this. It said meanness has a history. Amen! I know mine always has. Oh yes, I've told you on several occasions, my mean girl is tough, and I am constantly having to subdue her. See in her day she served a very necessary purpose. She protected me and defended me when no one else did or would. However, in my life today I have very few "real" threats but she continues to look for them at every turn, and I continue to rewrite peoples stories so that I am the good guy and they are the bad guys. I hate admitting this! I am changing, thank you Lord! I have begun to say to myself "See them how God sees them. Remember, they have a background just like you." Meanness has a history, and it is often a hard one. Remind yourself what it took for them to survive this "history". And remind yourself of times you have acted out as a mean girl might and forgive. Also maybe take a little time to get to know the background story for these amazing woman warriors of God!
   God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill

Beloved!!

   Beloved: greatly loved and dear to the heart. A term of endearment. Beloved! I love this word! We are His beloved! This is what the King of kings has to say regarding you His Beloved! Song of Solomon 4:7 You are altogether beautiful my darling, there is no flaw in you! He is the lover of your soul! Wow! Have you ever desired an amazing love story. Your love story was written before you were ever born! He knew and loved you before you were formed in your mothers womb! He thought to himself, I cannot wait to create her. I am going to give her the softest heart and the quickest mind. She will be quick to laugh. I'm gonna give her a quirky side smile and dimples. He knew all he wanted in you and for you! He is head over heels in love with YOU! And no one will ever love you more! Have a marvelous Monday!
   God Bless and Keep you, Ms. Jill

From mourning to rejoicing!

   It's the morning following a very long and sad sabbath. As the day begins to dawn Mary Magdalen goes to the tomb of her beloved friend, and Lord. She has come to finish preparing the body as is their custom. But she finds no body! The tomb is empty! She is overcome with anguish and frantically she runs to Peter and John. She cries " Jesus is not there and we do not know where they have taken Him!"
   The two men race to the tomb. How could this be? John is first to arrive looking inside he sees strips of linen lying around the room. He does not go in but Peter rushes ahead sees the same linen strips as well as the cloth that covered His head still in it's place. they are so overcome with sadness they never think to remember the promises of scripture that he would rise on the third day. Defeated they return home.
   However Mary remains. She sobs outside the borrowed tomb defeated and alone. As she weeps she looks again into the tomb and sees two angels in dazzling white seated at the head and the foot of where Jesus was lain. As she stares no doubt in awe, they say to her "woman why are you crying?" She says to them "They have taken my Lord away and I do not know where!" Her anguish and pain palpable in her voice. She turns and there stands Her friend and teacher and Lord. She is so caught up  in her despair she does not even recognize him. Jesus says to this much loved woman "Why are you crying and who are you looking for?" Thinking He is the gardener she says " please tell me if you know where they have taken my Lord." Jesus says simply "Mary." She instantly recognizes that voice and falls to His feet to worship Him! Jesus sends her to tell the disciples what she has witnessed and with a simple message that he will soon join His Father in heaven.
    She returns to the disciples and says all she has seen and heard. And that Jesus is risen! That evening as all the disciples are gathered together with the doors locked from the inside. Jesus appears in the midst of them and says "Peace be with you." They are surprised and afraid as He shows them His nail pierced hands and scarred side. His disciples are overjoyed!
   This is the basis of our faith! The Joy of our belief! Because if He lived a good life that makes him a good man. And if He died for his faith that makes Him a martar. But if He is risen He is who He says He is and He has done what scripture promised and what only God could do! I believe! I am made new because of this! My sins died on a cross with this sinless savior! Hallelujah!! He reigns! He Lives! He is risen!

   Over 2000 years ago, Jesus was betrayed by one of His closest friends. He turned Him over to men who had nothing but evil planned for Him. Jesus cried out to father God asking that if this cup could be taken from Him please do. But if not, then His Fathers will be done and not his own.  He was taken captive and and called horrible names, spit upon, and beaten while being mocked. He knew His beloved friends were denying knowing Him, and He knew the fate that lay ahead of Him. He was forced to take up His cross and carry on His back, which was shredded and sliced what an extremely painful process.  He was paraded down the same streets where only days earlier He had been greeted with shouts of "Hosanna!" "Messiah!". Now he was met with shouts of mockery, and shouting "Crucify Him! Crucify Him! Crucify Him!!" These people knew what crucifixion was. See they had witnessed these brutal killings for years now. Seen the prolonged suffering, the corpses that rotted in the streets while vultures defiled them! Still they cried out. Crucify him! He was forced to walk through this crowd spit upon, having things thrown at Him and knowing that though he had done nothing wrong He would die a most violent death. And all the while he walked on. He had never sinned, but carried the sin of every man and woman up to this day as well as the sins of all to come. My beloved friends that's a heavy burden to carry when you already carry the weight of your certain death! Yet he walked on. His wrist were nailed to the cross in a way to hold his suffering body to the board for the longest time. His ankles were nailed in the same way with legs bent. And then that cross was raised and His entire body weight pulled at these nails and the wounds surrounding them. One of the only ways these crucified men could relieve some of the pain on their upper body and an opportunity to expand their lungs and receive a deep breath was to push up on their legs and this also caused extreme pain to their lower extremities. When the soldiers were ready to get it over with and done they would break the mans legs so that He would be unable to take another deep breath and ultimately His lungs would collapse and he would die. Jesus legs were never broken and he continued to suffer. Still Jesus cried out Father forgive them! Though the Son of God was broken and suffering they continued to mock Him. The whole Earth became dark and the veil was torn. And Jesus gave himself over to death saying it is finished. His disciples mourned and cried in the streets. They felt broken and overwhelmed. This is not how they had hoped things would go to say the least. Jesus was taken down from the cross and his body wrapped cloth and placed in a tomb of a member of the council. All those who remained with Him were there and saw the body lain in the tomb. The women went home to prepare spices and perfumes. And then they rested partly because it was sabbath and they wanted to obey the command, but I have to believe they were also emotionally and physically exhausted. This is not the end of the story. Only a chapter. But, imagine yourself there thousands of years ago. Imagine that you do not know what happens next. what overwhelming anguish they must have experienced.
   Now I don't like to waist words so....Jesus gave up Divinity in His heavenly realm to come to Earth and know all the hardships of humanity. He came and loved the unlovable as an example of what a true Rabbi is. He was betrayed and beaten and ultimately killed along with our sins. And he did all of these things so that you would not know death and suffer the same crucifixion never ending. And he died sinless and carried our sins to the grave. And he would have done all of this if I had been the only one. That's how He loves me!
   And He would have done all of this if you were the only one!! That's how much He loves you!

God Bless and keep you Ms. Jill

And I will lift my voice...And be heard!!

   Today I find myself home sick.=( Head is killing me and I can't quit coughing. However, I also can't lay down, well, I can't lay down and breathe. I'm really attached to breathing. =) So I thought "you know I haven't blogged in forever!" And there's so much going on in my life I really should!
   I am in love with life right now. I have been crying out to God for years saying you know the desires of my heart! I guess they're never gonna happen for me. Why not me? Poor pitiful me! LOL And while as I've told y'all, God wants our broken moments the same as he wants our celebrations, You cannot sow defeat and expect to reap success. ie Mustard seeds begat mustard. Sunflower seeds begat sunflowers. And defeat begats defeat!
   Well I did a study from Joel Osteen called "I Declare!" And I am changed. Not because of my brother in Christ Joel (no offense) but because like a big brother he reminded me of the words of our Daddy! throughout the bible God reminds us that our words hold power.
   So, your job looks bleak. You work hard with no recognition, while others receive reward for warming a chair. Proclaim, God I will not believe my failing human eyes and ears that tell me no reward waits for me. Instead I will say, father surely your goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life!
   So your marriage is not what you've always desired? Proclaim father I know what me and my honey have created in our humanity. But, I also know that you can resurrect it into new life! Remember, nothing is so dead God can't call it back to life! Remember Lazurus? Dead so long that Martha said but surely Lord he stinketh!! Yep others have probably caught a whiff of your marital decay. SO WHAT! God's got this!
   So you always wanted to sing for His Glory, And when you were an intrigal part of a praise team he led you elsewhere? Happened to me. When I arrived at a new church home there was no room for others to sing with the praise team. They are very talented and gifted for music. The praise team changed over almost completely and still no openings. I laid myself bare in an effort to be included in any way. I was told my voice is not a fit for this team and my songs and music I brought to sing were used and sang by others. I became very down and asked God to take this desire from my heart. There will never be an oppurtunity for me. WAHH BOO HOO!! Well my words definitely dictated my life. I began this year fear free! I said I will not be my harshest critic any longer. I found this study and began to see the truth of just how much power our words hold. I began to proclaim if you've lain it on my heart you will open doors and oppurtunities that should be closed off to me. I began to say "Daddy thank you that you have enough oppurtunity for all your kids! That you go before me softening hearts and making pathways straight! I was given an oppurtunity to sing for emmaus, but not only that to sing with some of my favorite most prized friends. Most from the praise band I had previously sang with! Oh ya He's good like that! =) I have been given oppurtunity to sing with the praise team during revival, and I have sang several specials. I realized an oppurtunity to teach and work with our childrens choir and they are so talented and their hearts desire is to sing to the King! And my hearts desire is to help that in any way! And all I can say about it is JOY!! I am filled with joy to spend time with them and I remember what praise is supposed to look like! PURE SURRENDER!
   While this is not the only desire of my heart that he has brought to fruition in such a short time it is the one I tell you of first, because it was one of the most painful for me. I know it sounds silly and small but to me it was not. And to many of our brothers and sisters their unmet callings remain painful as well. While in the past I would not have lain myself bare for fear I would be judged or look pitiful. And somewhere I'm sure right now someone is reading this and thinking well I don't like her voice. So what thats your biggest issue. Of course not. But God wants our little stuff too.
   So I will proclaim my fathers plan for my life and the lifes of those I love! And, I will live in full expectancy of His goodness and mercy! What are you expecting for today? Procalim it!!
   God bless and keep you,
 Ms. Jill