Something to think about...

   I hate when women decide to tear one another down, with back handed comments. It makes me sad and honestly a little angry. I have a friend who was told by another woman "I hate that you have to work full time, I chose to do without some things for my family." Well now, I'm just not sure that was offered up for the edification of a sister. Maybe it's just me, but if you are uncertain of exactly what the situation is for that sister don't make assumptions or judgements.
   I know for me I was very blessed to be able to work part time right up until my youngest son was most of the way through third grade. At which point my husband and I realized we were going to need additional funds. My husband was offered a job that paid substantially more and I could maintain the hours I had previously carried. However, said job meant many more hours away from home, as well as much more travel.  So I chose to do without some things for my family. I chose to miss out on a few things so that my husband wouldn't miss out on many. I chose to work full time to keep my husband home more. I chose to work full time so that the last face my little people saw every night was their dad's. I don't desire for them to have more of me and less of him. That did not feel like the best solution for my family. With our current situation we are both home by 5 every evening. And though Rick does travel, it is not often and never for more than a week at a time. We are blessed in this life and many are much worse off.
    I don't tell all this to say I am any better than anyone else. I tell all this to say, God has placed all of us in different situations at different times in our lives. It is not for us to lay judgements on one another. Ladies it's hard enough to be a mom in today's world without us throwing stones at one another. God may have lain on your heart to stay home with your kids. If he has, you better do it. But, be sure that He will not lead every mother in the same paths. And be supportive of whatever God is leading that family to. Don't assume they weren't willing to place their families first. Always think the best of one another. And remember God has an amazing way of humbling the proud. Isaiah 2:11 says the eyes of the arrogant will be humbled and human pride brought low; the Lord alone will be exalted in that day.
   Be kind to one another & God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill

Begin Again

    I know this is gonna come as a huge surprise, but the other day, I messed up and acted in a way less than what my father expects of me. While a lot of my friends were loving and a soft place to fall definitely what I needed, I also needed accountability. One of my sisters in Christ said "Jill I love you but, You messed up and nothing you can do about it now, but repent." She also reminded me I don't need the approval of man but of God. Thank you Sonya.
     I will admit at first I was hurt. I sat for a minute and stared at the screen and pouted. Then I swear to y'all, I heard my granny's voice. When I was little I used to always say to her when I had done something wrong, well they did it too Granny. And she would promptly reply " wonderful y'all can pat each others backs all the way through the gates of hell." LOL You had to know my granny she was a tiny woman with huge brown eyes. Her heart was also huge but she believed whole heartedly in accountability. She would say I know you've been through a lot at a young age and I know how amazing you are and that you can do amazing things. She would say "in this house we aren't gonna lower the bar to where we are we will rise to meet the bar where God has placed it." As an adult I love that. I raise my kids in much the same way. And when people say the bible has a lot of good stuff but some of it is outdated or doesn't apply to my life, I think what? Well in this life I'm gonna try to meet the bar where God has placed it. See He doesn't ask of us anything we cannot do through Him. Period. It will not happen that He will call you to something and not equip you for it. His extravagant mercy and grace Guarantee it!
    Now, all that being said you will fail. period. Our humanity guarantees it. Throughout the bible God gives us examples of men and women who fail. They repent and are redeemed. But, friends there is a price to be paid for our actions. We may lose friends, or promotions, we may have to absolutely start over again. David did. Time and time and time again. However, God called him a man after His own heart. He never failed to repent accept forgiveness and begin again. See it is one thing to feel remorse, repent, and lay there in sackcloth and ashes. It is another to say I fell short of the bar. Let's do this again, but better.
   God bless and keep you Ms. Jill

Filled up and overflowing!

                 Each one of us contains an empty space that only God can fill. I know that in my life I have attempted to fill that space with many things. I tried to make my husband fill that space and though he is an amazing man who loves me better than any other human being, he is human and though it is hard to believe at times failing. His love is imperfect and it's unfair for me to obligate him to fill the space created for Christ. I have tried to fill it with friendships. And, though these women are priceless to me and I would be lost without them, their love is also imperfect. They like myself will not be able to be exactly what is needed when it is needed. At times even without meaning to we will break one anothers hearts or at least wound them. I have tried to fill that space with food and found my reward was getting fat. Absolutely not helpful to my health or self esteem. I know people who have attempted to fill that space with drugs, alcohol, and any number of questionable men. All of these things will bring you momentary rewards while tearing down our self esteem, our joy, and our overall well being.
                 I have been filled by His love. He is my Lord and Saviour. And while my life remains imperfect and at times a struggle, I look at where I was and where I am and I know my redeemer lives! Because He lives in me! I am changed. I will never be the same because before I was incomplete, and constantly searching for something though I had no clue what. I cannot tell you how hopeless that life is. If you do not know Him. If you have not felt the overwhelming joy that only His Resurrection can bring contact a local pastor, a Christian friend, or message me and I will gladly introduce you to the one you were made for, and you can invite Him to fill all the empty places within you!
        God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill

Little pumpkins

         I am in love with the idea of what something can be! Of what something ordinary can become. I have a huge love of thanksgiving. It is probably one of my favorite holidays and I love decorating for fall. I have all of these plaster and plastic, ceramic and glass, even paper mache pumpkins. Some of them are scarred and dented some the paint has come off in places. And my favorite plastic one has teeth prints on one side (I use these to decorate the church, and apparently one of our little ones at some point thought it looked yummy.) Apart from one another, and in the wrong place, they look a hot mess! But when they are used in the right way and the right setting they are beautiful and work amazingly well together and are a blessing to others!
          This reminded me of our church body. Not just Trinity Baptist, but all of the churches of all denominations that make up Christianity. Romans 12:5 So in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We are Gods plastic and plaster, ceramic and glass and even paper mache pumpkins. We are scarred because of painful experiences or possibly broken hearts that he has had to piece back together. Some of us may be aging and our "paint" is fading in places. Some of us may even have left over "bite marks" from the bite of gossip and jealousy. And all of us were once covered in stains that only the Blood of Jesus can cover.
         When I open my tubs of pumpkins and pull each one out to examine it and put it on display, I smile. Can't help myself. I know how they all look apart but I know when I put my little pumpkins together they will add to one another and strengthen one another to stand in front of all as a beautiful creation. I like to think God is the same way, he knows all His little pumpkins are battered and bruised in their own ways. But, He also knows each contains beauty and that together they make a more impactful statement than they could ever make alone =)

            God bless and keep you Ms. Jill

Giving thanks

    A simple thank you is such an amazing tool. It can turn anger to joy. It can provide acceptance to one who has maybe never felt it. It can say you are appreciated and not just a workhorse. I do not care who you are, when you have gone out of your way to accomplish a task, putting your time, resources and even heart into something, you would love to be acknowledged for said task. It's so easy at times to forget the one who always does, who always gives, and who always will. I don't want to forget anymore. I want God to make me painfully aware. I want to give thanks where thanks is due. So in the spirit of thanksgiving, Thank you for reading my blog. It's nice to feel as though I am not tossing words into the wind. Thank you for commenting on my blog, it lets me know what you really think, and how I can improve. Thank you for friending my blog, their are only a few of you but it is so good to have your support. I thank you for all this and more. Ephesians 1:16 I have not stopped giving thanks for you and remembering you in my prayers. =)
         God bless and keep you Ms. Jill

All or nothing

   So I've been thinking alot lately about the things God gifts us with and calls us to. I have to say I think there may be a difference, because in my day to day life I've noticed a lot of  apathy. You know there are people in this world who may be gifted with an artistic talent and their drawings are good, but if they aren't called to it and are just going through the motions it remains just good and at times just there =/ I don't say that to be hurtful in any way shape or form. I used to love to do murals and painted on them for hours on end. They filled me with joy and I woke up excited to get started and go at it again. I loved it! It filled many hours during a very difficult time in my life. I would go to the church with my little dog Frodo, and turn third day as loud as it would go and paint and lose myself in this form of worship! It blessed those around me and I was abundantly blessed as well. However, there came a point in time when I didn't feel called to it anymore. It became a chore and though the talent remained, it was different, because it was no longer a form of worship. It was a job just something to get finished because I had made a commitment.
   I don't ever want my worship to be given this way. Half hearted and thrown together at the last minute. So luke warm that my Jesus would want to spit it out. Done in a way that brings Him no glory! I don't want to do a last minute job with distractions at every turn and my focus taken from it's rightful place. I want to give it my all! In that vain there have been times in my life when people have decided I'm too much work or that they have to give more time than they should to work with me on projects. True I am a lot of work when I am engaged in worship! I always picture Him sitting in the sanctuary and since He is my "daddy" I wonder does this make Him proud? Has he found joy and Glory in the words I sing? In the brushstrokes I leave? In the prayer I offer up?
   I want to leave a legacy of praise to a father who has redeemed me in ways no one can imagine! A Daddy who stood between me and certain death that I 100% deserved! I KNOW that He gave His all for me and so I refuse to give less to Him! I am His beloved and He is mine and in all I do I want to Honor Him! To bring Him Glory! And I will fail without doubt but it will never be because of half hearted effort!
   So I say to you, do not be gray, neither black nor white! Do not be luke warm, neither cool and refreshing, or warm and comforting! Do not give halfway to Him because he's never given halfway to you!(Rev. 3:16)
   God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill

Stop it and get your butt to church!!

    For what it's worth, it's never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you are proud of. And if you find you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.-author unknown.
   I have a friend who I always ask to come to church with me. One week this friend says to me," I can't go there. I know what people are saying about me, and so I'm not going!" I said first of all I've never heard anyone talk about you. Not that I would because I'm your friend, but listen, Are you doing something wrong? This friend did not answer. So I said Babe, if you're doing something wrong, stop it, and get your butt to church! In the same vain, If your not doing something wrong get your butt to church, if they're talking about you let them talk, God will take care of that! Either way the best place to be is at church!
   Now friends you don't have to tell me that you can be a Christian without going to church, I know. However, I also know it's alot easier to walk the righteous path with good Christian friends around you. I know that it is our human nature to walk more upright when we are answerable to fellow Christians. Are these Christians always gonna make the right choices and be a blessing and a soft place to fall? Nope, at times they will hurt you and at times you will be the one who hurts them. Sad but true. I refer back to the previous paragraph, stop what you're doing and get your butt to church. And there is nowhere better for them to be than in church.
   I know I have found myself filled with anger and bitterness and all manner of worldly things and had to admit I was not living a life I was proud of and had to start again. I am glad I did. I am beloved and proud of who I am becoming in him. So friends the only thing to be ashamed of is if you staunchly hold on to these sins and decide to keep your distance from the redemptive power He holds.Repent and be redeemed and remade! Please go back I promise nothing of this world is half as satisfying as a life lived in and for Him! 2 Cor:2:17 if anyone is in Christ, that person is a new creation. The old has gone the new is here.

The fine line

   Today I am grateful for the people in my life who listen to my confession without judgement, and who listen to my convictions without feeling judged. These are true friends and Christians. It's a fine line between holding a brother or sister accountable and in feeling judgemental, and it's a hard line to walk. I have fallen on the wrong side of it before myself. And as a baby Christian more times than I would care to admit. I felt that what made you a Christian was in standing in judgement of others actions and in feeling superior in saying well mines not as bad as hers. Well guess what kids your's is as bad as their's. God says a sin is a sin. Matt:7:2 says very clearly for in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. So thank you again to these Christian women who hear my confession and give only encouragement toward better choices next time. And thank you to these women who can hear my admission of the convictions God has lain on my heart without feeling as though I am standing in judgement of them. I thank my God he has placed these women in my life. It's good to have a safe place to be transparent and discuss your walk with others. If you don't have a place like this I pray you find one.

   God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill

Me the mud and God

   OK lets do this thankful thing again =) Today I am thankful for yard work. Crazy right? Now don't get me wrong, I do not enjoy the back breaking weed pulling. I Don't enjoy the Texas heat. I don't enjoy the sunburn no matter how much sunscreen I use. What I do enjoy is the quiet. I don't listen to music I don't have any helpers, see this is me and God's time. We just talk. I tell Him all my woes and the woes of all those I love. He listens. I tell Him all of my triumphs, and give Him the glory in it. I talk. Like I would talk to a good friend. I don't hold back anything, cause I just don't see a reason to. I want Him to know me and I want to know Him. I covet this time. All my girlfriends know, that this is when I get my alone time in this very busy world. I steal the time by calling it chores. Believe me no one wants to bother me then, for fear that they may be called into this foreign land of chores (lol).
   Today I went outside with my house dirty and and my laundry unwashed. With errands needing to be run and honey do's going undone, I went out in the heat and pulled weeds from my yard and a few from my heart. I want to remove any hindrance to the Joy and closeness I share with my Father. And this just seemed like a great way to get back. So as silly as it sounds I sat with my father in the mud today and pulled up weeds. I heard Him and felt His peace, and I needed that. So I am thankful for yard work and all it entails.

Grateful He hears

   So in light of being grateful and turning my eyes toward God, I am thankful for a God who is loving and forgiving. Who knows my flaws and loves me just the same. Though I fail Him and many time and again, He calls me His. I am thankful that when I am rejoicing He rejoices as well and when I am lonely and empty He is close. One of my favorite songs is Never Alone by Barlow girls. " I waited for you today, but you never showed. I needed you today so where did you go. you told me to call, said you'd be there and though I haven't seen you, are you still there?"I find that the most natural thing in the world is to cry out to Him when we are broken. David a man after His own heart, did so....time and time and time again. Psalm 55:4 says My heart is anguish within me. Psalm 56:8 record my misery list my tears on your scroll are they not in your record? Psalm 22:2 My God I cry out to you, but you do not answer, by night but I find no rest. Habakkuk as well cried out to God. Habakkuk1:2 how long Lord must I call for help, but you do not listen? Or cry out to you Violence! but you do not save? Of coarse in all these circumstances God is faithful and merciful to we his foolish kids! But I say these things to point out that in the bible, God's love story to us, He deemed it worthy to show us men that He loved and called out for service, mourning and feeling dry in their desert places. It is not wrong brothers and sisters. As long as you remember who He is and what He has done for us and praise Him even in the storm.And I thank Him that He is big enough to understand and to rally to lift us from these places. I feel my joy returning slowly and, I am thankful to all of you for your kind comments and messages, they truly mean the world to me. Truly!
   By the way the rest of the song is I cried out with no reply and I can't see you by my side. So I'll hold tight to what I know you're here, and I'm never alone! Amen sometimes we're just holding on to bible truths we know, and reminding ourselves that He is our joy and praising Him for He is good in all things! But it is OK to cry out to Abba (father God) even with all this in your heart and mind.
   God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill

P.S. to any who were offended by my transparency, I truly am sorry it is never my intent to Say anything hurtful about my precious Father or my beloved church family. I would be lost without either of them. Again no human is responsible for my revival or joy and I wish only to show my humanity in my walk and to let others know it is not a reason to turn from Him but to run towards Him.

While I'm waiting...

   Today was a good day. I am not completely revived but I am thankful for the blessings of this day. I received a great word from God through the mouth of my pastor. I truly was blessed by it. And we had communion at the altar this morning, and I stayed a while to hit my knees and talk with openess to my Father. I did not hear His voice but, I truly felt heard. I still miss the stirring in my soul that comes from worship through song. But, I know it will return to me in God's way in His time. And so I wait Psalm 46:10 Be still and know that I am God.
   I have decided that while I'm waiting, I will daily make a list of things God is blessing me with. I hope that this will help me to focus on the things that are not of this world. It is so easy to get down and to get far from God when you move your focus to the things that are wrong with your life instead of the things that are so right!
   Well it's not much but it's all I have to give you tonight my friends. God bless and keep you,
                                                                                                                    Ms. Jill
 

In need of revival

   For awhile now I have felt far from God. I feel like I can't hear His voice, like I can't feel him near me. It is such an empty place to find myself. I have to believe I'm not the only to ever feel this way. In fact I know I'm not. I spoke with a friend about just this thing this very evening, and she stated she too found herself in the desert place.
   I find most of the time I surrender in worship through music. Well it all seems like same old same old. We did that song last week, I don't like it when it's sang this way, I just seem to find fault in all of it. And that has never been the case for me. As a general rule I can find joy in all music. I don't want to go to a concert. Psalm 98:4 shout for joy to the Lord, all the Earth, burst into jubilant song with music. I want to go to a revival. I want to feel the holy spirit moving in the room. I want to have the holy spirit move in me. I love the way our pastor preaches, he is a very gifted speaker. But, again because I am going through the motions nothing penetrates my soul. Nothing stirs within me. I feel like a Zombie!
   I don't like this feeling. I am so in love with the Lord, and I know he never leaves our side so this is something going on inside me. I am not within His will or it would be easy to hear Him, and all the blaming others for not feeding my fire will not change that fact. My soul is weak and worn out and I need to be strengthened through Him.Psalm 18:32 It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure. No human can be held responsible for that.
   I tell you all this simply to share my struggles as a Christian. I don't tell you this to snuff out any of your fire but simply to be transparent in my walk. I am not perfect, but I am trying. I desire to be ignited. I will continue to pray and continue to worship with what I have to give right now, and I will pray for revival within myself. Psalm 85:6 will you not revive us again, that your people may rejoice in you?  And God is faithful even in this dry place.
   God bless and keep you, Ms Jill

No such thing as "PET" sins...

So I've spoken of our pet sins before. I believe so many of us have them, if you do not, congratulations. My pet sin may look just like yours, but more likely it has it's very own appearance. The thing about pet sins is at first you are covered by that conviction and guilt. However, as time goes by, we grow more comfortable with them. We know what they are and the damage that they are capable of. However like any dangerous relationship, we tell ourselves we have control over it. But, that being said we don't want everyone to know about it. We say it's not as bad as all that and we hide it away in a closet. Every so often we take it out and feed it and pet it and become comfortable with it all over again. All the while, we look the other way while it eats and devours our souls and families, and all that God is trying to build for us. My pet sin is so comfortable I have carried it most of my life. I harbour a spirit of offense, pride, and jealousy. From time to time, I think I've conquered it. I confess it and move away from the closet I place it back into. But. I don't do away with it entirely. So that being said, tonight in a courageous bible study led by my dear brother Will Dunniven, it hit me. I get on here and I tell you the words my father has given me and then I go and pout in the closet with my pet sin. So in an effort to not just confess and keep this sin around, but to repent place it in the light and begin to remove it from my life for good I'm telling all of you. I do feel embarrassed to be saying these things and opening up my ugly closet for you all to see. But you know what, it will be worth it, if it helps me kill and do away with something that is keeping me from a truer relationship with my Father.

Ephesians 5:8-13 For you were once in darkness, but now you are light in the lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of light consist in all goodness,righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. It is shameful even to mention what the disobediant do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible and everything that is illuminated becomes a light.

God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill

Contemplating the cost of mental healthcare

   Wow, what a morning! I get up this morning with the intent to give my boys a happy treat and take them for donuts on the way to school. They do a wonderful job getting ready and finishing everything up. Then my oldest son comes into the bathroom and says mom Hayden is out of his ADD medication. WHAT?! Did I mention today Hayden has STARR testing?! Well he does and if he does not pass said test he does not pass 5th grade! Crap on a cracker!!! Now I lose my mind I am stomping my size 6 feet, and hollering and demanding explanations from these two boys who have obviously decided I am insane and are wondering how they will pay for my mental health care for most of their adult lives!
   I call my husband and explain this horrendous life shattering event.....and he said "OK" What? OK? How dare he not see the explosive impact of this!! I continue with my previous plan of fast tracking on the road to insanity! And that man has the nerve to say to me " I love you, do you think this is helping, or could there be another solution?" Aw man, he's right...gotta turn it around.
   How many times have I told my boys throwing a fit doesn't make it any better, but here I am knee deep in a hot fit! So now then, I have to tell them I'm sorry, and that we will figure it out, and that I was way out of line. Well guess what no one is perfect. And the only way your mistakes can become epic fails is if you refuse to accept them as mistakes and instead choose to deny any wrong doing. My boys know I'm a mess, and they know I love them and want the very best for them in any situation. They know I will mess up and offer apologies and fix whatever I can. They have a heart of mercy towards me, and they just love my stinkin guts!! So we moved on.
  We sat and we prayed together. I told them I was sorry and was forgiven. We moved on. I called our friend and pharmacist. He met me at the pharmacy and gave me one pill to get us through. Hayden took it like a big boy and we headed to Highland. I got Chance to text my boss and tell him I was running late and would be there asap. They got to school with ten minutes to spare and I was three minutes late for work. in all things  Romans 8:28 and we know that God works for the good of those who love him!
  
 

Get it together!

   Crap y'all, I gotta get it together. In all seriousness, I feel like it just becomes habit to be undisciplined. It is easy! It is so much easier to say; buy a bag of socks rather than wash that load of clothes tonight, to order a pizza rather than cook a healthy meal, to watch a movie rather than workout or to gossip and backtalk rather than submit and see others through our fathers eye's.
   I know I have been guilty of all these things and more. Brothers and sisters maybe you have as well. The bible is really clear about how God feels on these matters. Proverbs 13:18 says Whoever disregards discipline comes to poverty and shame. Well crud, I don't know about you but I have been poor and had more and more is better everyday. And as far as shame we are His children and i would never want to bring shame on His holy name because of my lazy actions.
   Hebrews 12:11 says No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. No discipline seems pleasant at the time. AMEN! I have never arrived home from 8hr's of work and thought it would be so pleasant to start some laundry and get a low carb supper going!! I have never thought I think that the most enjoyable thing to do right now while this person is spreading painful things about me or those I love is to see them through the eye of the one who loves them most!! And for goodness sake I sure don't want to drag these thunder thighs into a workout!! But, later it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace. AMEN AGAIN! I will have clothes to cover myself and my family. I will have a healthier and hopefully smaller body! And I will have a soul that is not daily poisoned by unforgiveness hate or strife. I may even find glimpses of myself in others faces!
     I want to do better, to be better but time and again I find myself undisciplined and unfocused and faltering to get back into right standing. To get it together! And every time I have to go back to my "Daddy" and say give me another shot?! And every time he is joyful to welcome me and you back! Lamentations3:58 says You, Lord, took up my case; You redeemed my life! Thank you God!!

Change is Good!

   We have had so many changes in our lives these last few weeks. My boys started at a new school. And they love it!! I kept feeling led to move them and prayed and prayed about it. I spoke with my husband who was not feeling the same leading in his heart. He is very much a thinker and I am very much a feeler. I found my boys were not being built up in their current situation but to the contrary they were being torn down. Not only by other kids but by irresponsible adults. Very sad but true. We were approached by someone working in the school system who said if she were in our situation she would move them as far from this situation as quickly as possible. Very much a wake up call! My husband and I went to tour Highland schools and the whole way out my husband assured me he was very sceptical and would need to be convinced. My God is amazingly big and knows and loves my precious hubby and I will say it took him one small hour to completely turn my husband onto the path he would have him go. And so we are now Hornets! My boys have quickly made friends and become involved in many activities within the school. The teachers in fact sought out my oldest son and brought him in to athletics and track. Wow an adult going out of his way to involve a kid in sports who will never be the star! Thank God for that man! My sons are being built back up! Thank you Jesus!!

   I have felt God's leading me to sing praise in my church for years and have never been able to. Though I have been blessed by my choir family! We have a new music minister and he is so open to having people sing and use their talents to glorify the lord! He has invited me on several occasions to sing with the praise team and sing specials and I feel so happy to be able to use the things God has given me in His service! I feel like God is well pleased in it as well! It is so much fun to be involved with such talented people as I find in this praise team! I find joy and freedom in singing His praise! Thank God for these opportunities!!
   I have been laying down old hurts and angers and have made great steps forward through the grace of God! I say through the grace of God because it has been a journey and at times I have failed (too many times to count) but I am laying it down again and again. I promise my father that I will continue to lay it down every time I am stupid enough to revisit these matters! My most precious girlfriends are a huge part of this, Continually slapping my hands and reminding me I am helping no one by constantly worrying over and stirring that pot!
   So I feel like my family and I are moving in such a positive direction. I feel like God has such amazing plans for us! We are his children and He is a wonderful father anxious to lavish us with His love!! So I know I have been neglecting my blog, but I am returning now renewed and refreshed! Blessings to all of you!

   God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill

Building one another back up!

   I was reminded last night of the childhood story of the emperors new clothes. Do you remember that story? The King is told by the seamstress and all his servants that he looks amazing in his outstanding new set of clothes, and all are told that only the most wise can see it, though truthfully he is buck naked! He goes to his balcony and all the people below cry out how very beautiful the clothes are! He walks out on the street and the people gush over the beauty of his coverings! Then one little boy says "he's naked." And their eyes are open and all agree.
   So in todays world where rarely is our issue being lifted too high, being overly flattered, I thought to myself I think that goes both ways. I know women who are so incredibly beautiful that they are noticed every time they walk into a room. However these women have been lied to for years and told they have nothing of value to offer the world. They are not smart enough, thin enough, beautiful enough, and that all their efforts will be in vain. And because our world today is just as foolish as the ignorant people of the naked emperors time, they begin to believe each other and to pile on more of these untruths on these women. And chink by chink their armor from God their father is slowly worn away. They become more and more vulnerable until every untruth is a fatal blow. They hit the heart with nothing impeding their progress they cause injury and scars.
   Well here's the good news! Just like that little boy in the emperors new clothes we can speak truth into a truthless situation and all can be revealed.(no pun intended) You and I know priceless truths as children of God. Why do we hold them close to our vest? Because they have no value when used this way. However, if we were willing to use these truths to begin to build His childrens armor back up, that is beyond worth. Proverbs 14:25 says a truthful wittness saves lives!  Matthew 18:7 (msg) says doom to the world for giving these God believing children a hard time! Hard times are inevitable, but you don't have to make it worse- and it is doomsday to you if you do. So I think God is pretty straight forward on this matter!
  OK here are some truths for these amazing women surviving without support from those around you and without spoken truths. Proverbs 4:7 The begining of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost you all you have, get understanding. So wether you know it or not sister we all knew you were smart and following God's instruction!!Not thin enough? Well the only time the bible speaks of thin, is in an unappealing way! As for beauty, here is how God the lover of your soul sees you. Song of Solomon 4:7 You are altogether beautifull my darling; there is no flaw in you!! So I as a daughter of the one true king and your sister, I speak these truths into you. I love you! I see you as indispensable, And value you above others! And so does your father! And to those who would stand in the way of a father daughter relationship; woe to you because you will come to ruin. There ain't nothing like a father protecting his young!
   God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill

Immeasurably more!!!

   I am thankful and blessed! My father is the king of kings and yet he desires to know me.. all my wants and needs, all my desires. He longs to give me the desires of my heart and over the last few days, He has been blessing me without holding back anything! It makes me think of  Ephesians 3: 20-21 Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen. Is that not awesome and amazing MORE THAN ALL WE ASK OR IMAGINE. Immeasurably, more than can be measured. Friends it means don't limit our limitless father!! He is beyond our understanding and imagination. His goodness is unfathomable!( like that? that's my $2 word for the day.)  But in all seriousness, we think we know him and to a degree we do. Even more so when we seek him out. However, we will never be able to truly wrap our minds around His goodness, and all that He wants to give to us His beloved children!!
   God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill

Water and rest

   I just finished cleaning up the ivy that grows on the front of my house. I actually really like it but in the heat of last summer most of it died out! I could not keep enough water on it and I just couldn't keep up with its needs and it could not stay alive without these things.
    This makes me think of my brothers and sisters in Christ who are presently going through a trial. They may be standing in the full sun and crying out for relief and reprieve. I believe we as a church body are trustworthy to provide prayers for God's living water to pour out on our fellow believers, but is it enough? You know that walk through the desert is a long, hot, dry journey! Psalm 107:4-6 says some wandered in the desert wastelands, finding no way to a city where they could settle they were hungry and thirsty and their lives ebbed away. Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them! But what if you couldn't cry out to him you were just too dry and words would not escape you? And I am reminded of how many times people went to the well to fetch water for themselves, their families, and loved ones. I am reminded that at times the water had to be retrieved for those who could not go to the well themselves. They simply were not strong enough. Have you ever been there? So dry and weary that you couldn't even speak God's words, His living water into your life and spirit? These were the times when it was a much beloved sister or brother who spoke these words into you! Will you now do the same for others?
   Sometimes it isn't even the water that they need it is the chance to rest and lay down some of that burden they carry in the desolate places. Will we as a church body be the safe place to lay these down in full confidence that it will not be given to others to share? Will you listen and let them lay down a heavy load with no fear of judgement, while still providing accountability where needed, it's such a fine line only the holy spirit can truly discern it? Luke 12:12 says the holy spirit will teach you at that time, what you should say.
   I pray we can provide all of these things to those wasting away in their personal desert and that they may be renewed through the body of Christ!
   God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill

Sweets for the sweets!!

   Cupcakes on a Thursday? Why not? I have my sweet nieces here this week and my boys are thrilled they are. They love them dearly! Sara was born two weeks before Chance who was born two weeks before LeeAnn. They are so fun together but like any set of three 16 year olds stuck together in the house they began to argue today. One was offended by another and became angry and was sharped tongued with the first, who then became hurt as well. Well hurt gives birth to anger and by lunch time at the restaurant they were pouting and snapping. We ate together and then I took them to Walmart, where we sat in the parking lot and had a little come to Jesus. I explained to them that we are related, we are family. And while I know that our family has a history of operating out of a spirit of offense and hurt, We become easily angered and our biggest desire is to know and prove that we are right, things are said that can't be unsaid and can't be unheard, however, that's not how most families are. Galatians 5:14-15 for the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command, love your neighbor as yourself. If you continue to bite and devour each other watch out or you will be destroyed by one another! I told them that we would talk it out and get right on over it and we did! And I felt this deserved some baking in the middle of the day on a Thursday! Can I get an amen! LOL
   I am from a hurt and wounded family. Not only have we been hurt by outsiders but we've hurt one another as well. I am not innocent and have been right there barking biting and roaring. However, since my salvation I am trying to change. I am not perfect but I am changing. My biological family reminds me of a hurt and wounded church, where everyone was just trying to be right and did not care who was injured in their vindication. I love a church that is acting as the redeemed family loving one another through thick and thin, and at times giving up their right to be right in favor of God's command to love one another! I am proud to be a member of just such a church family! I think we should have cupcakes at the next service!! LOL
   God bless and keep you, Ms Jill

One more round!

   So wow my life has been crazy! And I have had a really hard time getting back around to my blog. But here I am and I hope that someone will be touched by it and find something worthwhile in it. I am totally enjoying being able to put my thoughts down and I hope that what God lays on my heart is exactly what someone needs to hear.
   I am tired. I get up in the morning tired. I run from one activity to the next, and at times I feel all I am doing is trying to get through instead of living in it! I just really need to get this thing done so that I can do the next thing on my never ending list. At times I look ahead and wonder how am I supposed to get it all done? And does God even get that I am running just to catch up much less get ahead! I know that i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! I know that i can find rest in Him! I know that He knows the number of hairs "on" my head so surely He knows the worries "in" my head! However, I find I consistently need to remind myself of these things and I would venture to say you probably live a similar lifestyle.
   I know that one of Satan's best tools is his ability to keep us so busy and overwhelmed that we don't even see him chinking away at our armor. He doesn't come to us when we are strong and rested and firmly planted. He comes to us when we are distracted and overwhelmed, or just tired. He speaks his untruths to us at these times and it becomes our time to speak aloud the truths of our Father. Remind yourself of who you are! You and I are more than conquerors we are Coheirs with Christ. So lets don't let the laundry and housework overtake us. Let's don't let the PTO and baseball and haircuts and childhood crisis become bigger than the truths of who we are. I'm thirsty for His living water. I need to be refreshed, and so do you. From time to time we need to rest in Him and let him strengthen us for another day and one more round.
   God bless and keep you Ms. Jill

Our Chance

   So this evening I took my oldest son to Abilene for his birthday. He turned sixteen today!! That is insane!! I cannot believe how big he is and how fast time has flown. I swear they just laid this baby boy in my arms. He was so beat up! I was in labor for 14 hr's and he was stuck in the birth canal for 3 hrs. He had a cut across his forehead and one black eye. He had bruises over his face and head, and because they attempted to use the vacuum he also had the cone head. Chance was the skinniest baby I had ever seen. He weighed 8lb 9oz but he was 22 3/4 inches long, so he was all legs and arms. And all this said I had never seen anyone or anything more beautiful!

   I have to tell you I have been blessed by this child for sixteen years. I love him with all that is within me, and I will never love him half as much as his heavenly father does! He is God's beloved child, and I think about all the years we were trying to have him and all the times we cried out to God for him and I imagine God up there just smiling saying " oh baby girl, if you only knew the little man I have planned to give you!" And thank God it was in His time and in His way.

   Chance has grown into such an awesome young man! He has had many struggles throughout his young life and God always carries him out victorious. He went tonight with his father and brother and I to dinner and was happy to be there. I am blessed! I think of kids getting cars and money and huge parties and still wanting more and more, and then there is Chance happy with what he got and time alone with his dorky family. Thank you God!

    God bless and keep you Ms. Jill

But when God??!!

   I find  at times in my life God has called me to things. He has laid heavy on my heart what he wants and desires of me. And, he has made me no promises as to when, where, or with who he will carry out his plans. This is hard for me as I tend to be a bit of a control freak!!
   I tend to want to be the one steering the boat and setting the path. I also want to decide who I will work with on this ride. However, God is not concerned with my time table or the company I am most comfortable keeping. He is interested in reshaping me and those around me in His time and in his way. I am thankful that he loves me enough to continually war with my pride to establish the right path. (Proverbs 16: 9) And so I will serve wherever He calls me. I don't know why some people are led to serve with their gifts and it seems to come together easily, and why some struggle consistently and are not relieved of the calling. I also don't know why many things happen the way they do. However I do know God is good in all things! I know that he wants to do good to those who love Him. I Know that He is more interested in shaping us in His image than having us be happy in the moment. I will learn to live in full expectation of God's fulfilment of His calling, even without a schedule!
  God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill

Let no plan of yours be thwarted!!

   I really feel that here in small town America we teach our children a herd mentality. You know, be like the rest of the flock so as they don't turn on you. We no longer encourage our kids to be different, and when one of their friends is very different we encourage them to distance themselves so the others in the herd will accept our child. I hate this because God has made no mistakes in the creation of our children!! They are his masterpieces! He has a purpose for them in their lives that only they are equipped to accomplish! And I wonder if we squash all of these qualities are we essentially trying to thwart God's plans? Job 42:2 says I know that you can do all things, no plan of yours can be thwarted!
   I wonder as I look back on Jesus disciples could Paul have reached those that Peter reached? Possibly, but God equipped Peter for this task. Peter who was loud and aggressive. One of those strong personalities led by emotions and easily angered. But someone needed this man. And, if the others had tried to turn him into what they felt an apostle should be, well first I believe they would have been unsuccessful, and second they would have missed the blessing that was Peter.
   I wonder if the woman who's tears and hair washed Jesus feet had been taught to worry about what "the others" would say, would she still have poured out her perfume and her heart? Who can say? But all the same she did and because she was willing to go against the grain Jesus was pleased with her. And all the others in the house who saw her devotion to this Jesus were curious and I'm sure some were brought to him because of this!
    Who knows if that one act of courage or that one person brought to the father by you is the whole reason you were created. Mordecai told Esther she was created for such a time as this. She was the one to step forward and go against the grain, and be different in her approach to the king. She with the help of God saved her people! But she was not like the other girls brought before the king!

Happily worshiping in their own way!

   Thank you God for these differences you have created in our children and father I pray for each of them that they would grow to be the unique amazing people you have created them to be! I pray that your plans would not be thwarted by well meaning people trying to help them be accepted. I pray father that as parents to these "different" kids we would know how to mentor them, and that our hearts would be open to the Holy spirits leading. I refer back to Job 42:2 I know you can do all things! He could have created them to be the "same" He chose to make them "this way" You are all knowing and you knew exactly who our children would be and you entrusted us with them please let us not fail them and not doubt who you have created them to be!
   God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill

The real deal!!

   Well beloved what a weekend! While I am so glad I went to the Joyce Meyer's conference with some wonderful ladies I also have to tell you it was not all roses. As in any journey God takes us on their were highs and lows!
   To start with I want to say I thoroughly enjoyed hearing Joyce speak. She is anointed to do what she has been called to. Her words are directly from God they are spoken in a way that is true to the woman God created her to be! When she talks, I so can hear my granny speaking to me again, and I was so blessed by that. It is an amazing gift to witness a woman being true to the woman she knows she is in God! While I did not enjoy the hard push for donations prior to each session. I appreciate the generous charities that she and her people are involved in, I really believe they are changing lives! I think her struggles have been so closely related to my own that her words were extremely applicable, and I am thankful to have had the opportunity to hear them.
   I loved spending time with so many of the ladies we were with and enjoyed hearing their stories and getting to know them better. I have never laughed so hard as I did in the car with Vickie and Sherrie and Lori on the way up and back! I have a safe and hilarious soul sister in Terrie I loved her before, and knew she was beautiful inside and out, but getting to see how truly beautiful she is inside is amazing!! And what a joy to spend time with the rest of the ladies, I regret that I wasn't able to spend time with all of the ladies and that they missed out on the sharing and laughter we shared before the sessions. It's really too bad.
   That being said, I've told you before of my struggle with depresion and anxiety. I cannot always explain what causes me to be overcome by it again, but man I did! We had gone to lunch at a small family style restraunt and all 14 of these ladies and myself sat together in a large booth. I could feel myself becoming anxious, but man I did not want to show weakness or bring attention to myself! You know because i'm that important and people think I'm perfect!(dripping with sarcasm) I then proceeded to have a full on panic attack and immediately began beating myself up for it. I am so stupid and what is wrong with me and now all these women I've just met will begin to form opinions of me because of this!!!!!
   Well, it turns out very few people knew it had even happened. It made me feel foolish but it was something completely outside of my control. I don't think anyone would choose to feel this way. As far as stupid, kids I  may not be a rocket scientist but I am far from stupid. And for the opinions of the other ladies these were good Christian women and though I doubt they formed any opinions of me, if they did that is on their conscience not mine!
   So here is the deal I will not let this define the weekend for me and I will not hide it. Because Satan would love that! He loves for us to live in denial and wear a mask of shame. I have chosen to live a very transparent Christian walk, and in that choice have been praised and berated. However I have to follow God's instructions. It is that simple and he has called me to live this life of openess and as badly as I want lie and say it was all wonderful...Colossians 3: 9 says do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with it's practices. So I'm trying to do better and will continue to be transparent.
   God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill

Father knows best!

   I have been waiting on a car since I totalled mine 2 or 3 weeks ago. I found one I thought I liked and we went over and drove it and it was the cutest blue and we did all the paperwork and everything was fine and I literally felt my tummy turn and I told Rick we needed to talk. I said I don't know why but I feel absolutely no peace about this. We told the very sweet salesman that we needed to go home and pray about it and that we would let him know.
   I was so mad. I told Rick what is wrong with me? He said "I don't know but whenever the holy spirit has spoken before it's always been a good thing." He said "we don't want to rush this momma". Well he may not have wanted to rush it, but i sure did!! Have you ever tried to run two kids and dogs and hubby to all their activities as well as your own in one vehicle?! LOL But one thing I have learned in my life is if I will listen to my Father's voice I will find peace, and if I do not He will continue to repeat himself to His petulant child.
   It always impresses me to look back over my journey with God! All the things I wanted, compared to all the things He has given me! I look back and my vision for myself was so much smaller then His vision for me and I realize that HIS LOVE IS EXTRAVAGANT! He saw me married to my best friend, Momma to two of the absolute coolest people I have ever had the privilege to know, with girlfriends who would gladly drop anything to be there for me and one another. He saw me as a member of a church and emmaus community that loves me and builds me up. He saw me secure in the home of my dreams and needing nothing.
   So one of the things I am learning is I can and will wait on His plan. Proverbs 19: 21 says many are the plans in a persons heart, but it is the Lords purpose that prevails Thank God y'all!!! Can you imagine if all our plans prevailed? SCARY!!!
   So that being said we drove down the road and found a pretty red equinox and it was cheaper and had less miles and did I mention it was red! =) the car lot replaced the windshield (it had a crack) and one of the tires (it had a screw in it) and they are putting in a brand new radio that is compatible with my IPhone. And I absolutely feel at peace about this purchase!! See how much better it is when you take our Father's advice!
   God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill

I thank my God for you!!!!



Glory Girls



   My birthday is this coming Monday. I will be 38yr's old and as I've told you I was raised Jehovah's witness, so I have not celebrated 38 birthdays. I celebrated my first birthday on my 18th birthday with my husband and he brought me flowers and balloons and a gift. He also got me a cake and I remember thinking this is wonderful, no wonder so many people look forward to their birthdays! I felt loved and important to someone!

   Throughout the years, I have celebrated any number of ways with my husband. That being said I have never had a celebration put together by my girlfriends. Thursday my GG's gave me a surprise birthday get together. They  made my favorite cake! Thank you Lori, it was the most amazing pineapple upside down cake, and to Terry that bread rocked! Thank you all for the silly gag gifts and most of all thank you for taking the time to plan something that was so special and blessed my heart!! In all this I felt special and important to these ladies! And I hope they know how important they are to me!

   Proverbs 17: 17 says a friend loves at all times and a sister is born for adversity. I know I quote this scripture a lot, it is because it has always been my desire to have this kind of friendships. I have known these friendships as an adult and God continues to bless me with more and more! Philippians 1:3 says I thank my God every time I remember you! I couldn't make a truer statement. I thank my God for you all!
   God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill

Brought low by my own words....

   I screwed up this last weekend! I said very ugly things to my teenager when he was giving me attitude and being disrespectful this being said, I am so sorry! It has eaten at me for the last three days, and I need to offer my apologies to Chance. He did not deserve what I gave him and while I will not allow him to disrespect me, I also will not allow myself to disrespect him either and especially not in front of others. It was wrong and I will try not to let it happen again.
  Ecclisiastes 7: 9 Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools. Well color me foolish. I was provoked by my child into very ugly behavior. The same child that I love and admire. He will forgive me because he loves me, and I will mess up again because I am human. However, I want to teach my boys that when you mess up you should offer up apologies and ask for forgiveness. Proverbs 12:18 the words of the reckless pierce like swords but the tongue of the wise brings healing. So there you go, in reckless anger I hurt Chance and now I repent and hope these words will bring healing between us. I am brought low by my own words and hope these words will redeem me in his eyes. I love him and he is big enough to forgive my words! I thank God for him daily and for the relationship we have!
   Friends never be so proud you can't offer an apology to the one who deserves it.
   God bless and keep you Ms. Jill

A father's love

   My youngest son got in trouble at school this week and received in school suspension. This was his second trip to OCS. His first punishment was for finally defending himself against a boy who picks on him and many others. He was told by his father and I that if the other boy put his hands on him again he had every right to fight back. We also told him he would have a punishment at school but not at home. He served his three days and I was in full agreement with his school on the matter. There is a consequence for every action. However I do struggle with the fact that not all the children receive the same punishments. My child always seems to receive the harshest punishment available.
   Well little mister messed up again. He finds himself back in suspension. My husband was up most of the night because while he knew our son had done a portion of what he was accused of he did not believe he had done all of it. He believed His son! Today Hayden's father went to the school assuring them he knew his son had done things wrong and that he should be punished, but that he felt our son deserved mercy and compassion in these circumstances. We share the belief that he is seldom given the benefit of a doubt. They have decided he is rebellious and so look for it in his actions. It never occurs to them to speak with him and say Hayden you have always been such a good boy. You have seldom been in trouble, and carried straight A's until this year. What's going on? But see, his father knows him and knows his heart and where his motives lie. He knows Hayden is hurt and feels like an outsider in some school situations and since he is a ten year old boy he's not sure how to give voice to this at times.
   This made me think of our Father. He knows the hearts of his sons and daughters. He knows what motivates them and their actions and he knows when others have been quick to seek "justice' against but slow to show mercy towards them. And brothers and sisters he will be quick to go to bat for you. Now while Rick's actions made no difference in Hayden's "sentencing". It will make a difference to him the rest of his life in knowing his father is here for him. Our Father however, is all powerful to change whatever sentencing we should have received. He is full of mercy and compassion and desires to give what we don't deserve.
  Romans 6: 23 says for the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our lord. See we deserved the harshest punishment death and eternal damnation but what we received because of His grace and His mercy was eternal life spent with Him! Thank you God for your immeasurable compassion and thank you for giving my boys a father after your own heart!

In the Adams house we practice mercy woven parenting, by Angela Thomas. We want our home to operate under the principles Jesus reflected.
Jesus gives people second chances, we will too.
Jesus doesn't keep reminding people of their forgiven sins; we will stop bringing it up.
Jesus doesn't always give the full measure of punishment; We will follow his lead.
Jesus let wisdom guide his mercy; so will we.

   God bless and keep you Ms. Jill

Burn baby burn!

   A man or woman on fire for Christ, and their family? Man alive, there ain't nothing better!! Especially when that fire has just been lit! It is an awesome and inspiring thing to see! It is hard to look away from and it can cause many other fires in it's wake.
    So tell me when was the last time you truly burned for Christ? Was it right after receiving His offered up salvation? After he delivered you or someone you loved from a bad situation? I'm telling you boys and girls He is offering sparks in your lives day by day. Tiny miracles that go unnoticed by the naked eye. I remind you of this because I need the reminder as well! Don't think for one minute that I wake up with birds singing in my ears and little woodland creatures approaching my beautiful cottage in the perfect woodland meadow where the sun is always shining. Nope my life gets crazy and trying. The crazy winds of this storm filled life can either ignite your fire higher if you lean on the Lord or blow it out entirely if you allow this world and Satan to steal the air from it
   Hebrews 12:29 says for our God is a consuming fire. So I urge you to feed the fire. Do not let it go out. We know that God is always there and desires to set ablaze the cold dormant parts of our hearts, lives and minds. I want people to catch fire for the Lord just cause they stood to close to this little firestarter and I want the same for you!
   God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill

Don't ask! I won't play!

   Laying it all down at the altar of God is amazingly freeing. I had a very emotional weekend. I hate when my hubby is gone but I love all of the worship services I attended this weekend. I was surrendered in worship through song and sang all to Jesus I surrender and realized I hadn't. It truly was like a slap in the face! I told him are you kidding me I have every right to be angry. How many times do I have to put up with crap? And He said how many times do I? I am God sovereign and I've told you what to do and you don't do it. It hurts me and yet time and again you do it. So I told Him right there alright I'll let go I just can't be angry anymore and so I spoke with a brother and told Him so. I don't know what is true of our past. I don't know what was said and what wasn't. But, I do know I'm leaving it all with God. And when it begins to rise up again, I will not be party to it any longer. It is embarrassing to know that other parts of the body saw this part was sick and ailing, and I feel it probably stole a little joy from them. I certainly know it contributed to gossip! So as far as it concerns me and my presence I will not listen speak or participate any longer. Love peace and blessings to all of you! Know that we are loved but accountable by and to the Father!
   God bless and keep you, Ms Jill

You got two ears for listening =)

   It is a very cold but beautiful morning here in Sweetwater. 28* I slept in and I needed it desperately. I find sometimes I just need to be still and know that He is God(Psalm 46: 10) I am always so busy and running around like a crazy woman. I am currently teaching two bible studies and active in church and emmaus and my kids school functions, and charities in our community. I am a mom and wife and a full time nurse. And in the middle of this crazy beautiful storm I call life it is sometimes hard to hear God's still small voice. He is always there he is always talking to me. But sometimes I just don't hear or don't listen. I've even thought sometimes; God I know your there but give me just a minute to finish some things up. Ever been there? Oh, ok God, I'll be right with you.
   So today I am resting in Him. I need it, and so do you. It's a hard thing to keep a relationship when you are the only one talking. He is the love of mine and your lives. Who else can you say would literally go to their death so that you wouldn't have to?! So we need to be sure to spend that time in silence listening for the voice of the lover of our souls. Being renewed and refreshed in Him. Being taken from an unwise path and placed back in the way we should go. Yep I have made some unwise choices with Him screaming in my ear "Run baby this is not good for you." lol
   So today I will spend some time with my "Daddy" and listen to his sound advice and words of encouragement and strength. He loves us so much we are His little girls and precious sons. And I want to remember the sound of His voice and the feel of His love today. Then praise God. I get to go pick up my best friend and Love. And listen to all that God has done in his heart and the hearts of many men around him. But for now me and my Beloved Daddy have some conversing to do!
   God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill

God sets the lonely in families! AMEN AMEN AND AGAIN AMEN!!!

   So tonight like most of the wives who's husbands are serving on the walk I miss my honey! I know he will be home in a couple of days and thank God because I am lost without that man! I met Rick when I was 16yrs old and have been in love with Him most of my life. He is kind and selfless. Rick absolutely comes last in all his decision making. He is fiercly protective of me and our boys. He says God gave him this family and he takes that responsibility seriously.

   My life before Rick was tumultuous to say the least. I struggled with a deep depresion and I was being eaten alive by insecurities and feelings of not good enough. I had never known family in the sense of loyalty and respect. I had never been told I had value beyond my outer appearance. But this weird, funny, kind man thought I was funny and smart. He saw a good heart that was covered by a hard protective shell and he was willing to slowly chip away at it. Now my heart melts for this man because I know I am safe with him in all things. I always wanted the family that he and I strive to give to our boys and that God has given to me. Psalm 68:6 says God sets the lonely in families. How good is that guys?! I ask how wonderful is it that someone as lonely and scarred as me was allowed such a soft hearted openely loving man to raise my precious boys with! He has instilled in our boys a sense of pride in being who they are he is consistently telling them how good they are because they are who God has created them to be. How like our heavenly father to be so pleased with His children being who they were created to be and not asking them to be a carbon copy of what the world wants them to be.
   So all this being said I miss my best friend. My fellow freak of nature. And I am glad that after almost 21yrs of marriage God has blessed our bond and I am eat up with longing for my beloved! Not only do I love this man in amazing measure. But I also like him! I enjoy my time with him and could still spend half the night just being with him and talking and laughing! I pray the same is true for your marriage. If it's not pray for it and take steps to make this your reality. Always remember that marriage is hard work but you will reep tremendous rewards!

   God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill

Second verse same as the first?!

   I am always so impressed to be in the presence of God's people. I love being a part of something so good and right! I have been a party to many a bad and wrong thing in my life and I can tell you "this" kicks "thats" butt. Lol. I am impressed to watch good families loving one another and others around them. I also have to say it is a blessing to see those who you know are not each others biggest fans but they are respectful and considerate of one another, because it's right and it is an outward sign of their maturity in Christ. A wise man told me once that some people have stronger personalities and some have softer personalities, and though we may not be best friends seeking one another out to spend time with, we can be respectful and love one another with the love of Christ. I know that at times I have been a success in this and at times I have failed miserably in this task. Now this does not mean that others around me have always succeeded either, but I'm not responsible for others attempts only for mine. Same goes for you kid! So I find myself singing second verse same as the first (haha), but you know, how many times did the disciples have to go over and over a thing before they got it right and they had Jesus right there holding their hands! So I tire of drama and have decided to denounce my role as a leading lady in it! I praise God for all that he is, I praise him for creating so many different people and so many different personalities! I praise him that where some with very strong personalities will be loved by others and edified in those relationships (I am proof of this) He also provides relationships for those softer personalities. And as far as it depends on me I will be peaceable and if this means avoiding hurtful situations even when they seem innocent I will do so until I am as strong as my personality and can handle it in a Christlike manner! Titus 3:9-10 says avoid foolish controversies because these are unprofitable and useless. Warn a divisive person once and then warn them a second time after that have nothing to do with them. Now I don't believe this means write them off forever but I do believe it means if you know that close contact and conversation will result in conflict or hurt then avoid that contact until God tells you otherwise! Praise God for this sound advice!
   God bless and keep you Ms. Jill

Funny and silly and pleasing to God!





Me and Lori

Marchelle Georgia and Terrie

LynnAnn and Mitzi

   I am a grown woman  and I cannot wait till my girlfriends get here tonight and we can make T-shirts and agape gifts. We will eat pizza and drink sodas and laugh till we can't stand it! I love this part of my life where we can be at rest and laughing and just being silly and girlie! Should what we do be pleasing to the Lord? Yep! And I think it is! I think when he looks down and sees us loving one another and laughing together He just grins from ear to ear! I know whenever I catch my kids laughing together and being silly I think Hallelujah, Lord let it last haha!! And in Eccliseastes 3: 12-13 it says I know there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil - this is a gift from God! See God knows we His children need this. He created us and knows it does our hearts good to be in His service with Joy and a lighthearted spirit. May the joy of the Lord fill your heart and home at every oppurtunity, and may the trials of this world not bring you down!

   God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill







Ame and Sonya



Beverly me Jana and Leisa
Sassy sopranos



















Dazzling reminders!

I firmly believe God can heal the hardest hearts! But first they must be broken. That hard shell has to be removed. But watch out because once a hardened heart has been broken it is amazing to watch the flood that follows. God will begin making those changes quickly and of his own accord. He only needs to be prompted to begin a work and redeem a life! He truly is so good! At times I think we become accustomed to His glory and his reminders are dazzling! I have to tell you there is almost nothing as breathtaking as watching someone so far away from what God has created them to be becoming more and more the image of the Fathers perfect plan! To God be the glory in all things!
   Psalm 73: 21-24 When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory!
   God bless and keep you Ms. Jill

Do a little dance!!

David is absolutely one of my favorite men of the bible! He was a man after God's own heart. He was also flawed beyond belief. Time and time again throughout the old testament we see David fall and rise again with God's help. In 1st Chronicles it speaks of a time when David was going to bring back to God's people the Ark of the covenant of God. David prepared a place for the Ark and built a tent for it. He commissioned the Levites to bring the Ark home. He ordered them to consecrate themselves and properly carry the Ark. See this is where the spirit of God dwelled and that deserved his respect and reverence. However this was also a celebration to be sure! He invited all of the tribes of Israel to come along. He commissioned fabulous musicians and talented choirs to come. 1Chronicles 15: 16 says and fill the air with joyful sound (msg) In verse 25 it speaks of all the people who went and it says they went rejoicing! The Levites thankful to God paused and worshipped through sacrifice of the seven bulls and seven rams. They were all dressed in elegant linens and David wore a prayer shawl. All Israel parading, shouting and cheering playing loud beautiful music! They marched into the city this way and in 1Chronicles15: 29 (msg) says When the chest of the covenant of God entered the city of David, Michal, Saul's daughter, was watching from a window. When she saw King David dancing ecstatically she was filled with contempt! When I read this a lot of things jumped to the front of my mind. First of all, all of Israel was in the streets worshiping singing and dancing. Why was Michal up in her room? This was not a quick get together. This was not David running to the store to pick up the Ark. This was a day of celebration for God's people, and HER HUSBAND. And she stayed in her room and when she saw this Man dancing and singing in full surrender to God she was Angry to say the least. Wow it seems so out of character with the story we are hearing! But how many times in our current church do we see someone who is being loved on and raised up by fellow Christians and feel jealous or slighted. How many times do you see someone in full surrender and worship and question it even grow angry because of it? I hope your answer is never. I hope you find a time in your life to be a spectacle for Christ! As long as you are heartfelt in it God is well pleased and it does not matter the opinions of others. I feel sad for Michal as she stood and watched all the people she knew and loved rejoicing and could find no joy in it. All this being said I hope for us all to be true and genuine in our walk and me most of all!
   God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill

Pray anyway =/

So right now my heart is a little heavy =(  I grow tired of human games and the hurtful situations we create for ourselves. As I pray for someone I know they are using this time to voice their unflattering opinions of me even while sweetly smiling in my face. I will continue to pray for them because it is God's will. And I will pray that God will continue to soften my heart in this situation. He already is to some degree. He loves these ladies and knows the hurts, pains, and insecurities they carry. I know of them to a small degree, what they have shared. However I will never know them as well as my Father God does and I lack the imeasurable capacity for empathy and compassion that He has always known.
   I am easily influenced by the opinions others carry of me. This is against everything my Jesus teaches! Proverbs29:25 (msg) says the fear of human opinion disables; trusting in God protects you from that. I know from speaking with other women that I am not the only Christian daughter who has ever placed too much weight in what another hurting, angry woman said or thought of me. I forget that God has called me chosen, beloved, daughter! I begin to wonder how many others have they talked with and do they believe these things about me? Well guess what? Probably so! But there is nothing you can do to change it and I don't know that you should even try. We are commanded to love one another! John 15: 12 My command is this: Love one another as I have Loved you. Well that's pretty straight forward. He doesn't say if they love you then you love them. He doesn't say when they make the right choices Love them. Because friends that's not how He loved us. He loved us when we were yet in our sin. (Rom 5:8) So believe me I am imperfect in this and still struggling myself. I'm very human and it hurts me and I struggle with it and it is unfair, Still, I will choose to let God define me! And I am more than a conqueror and so are you! We Church are coheirs with Christ! Will everyone see that in us? No. Will they touch and tarnish our crowns? Yes. Will that change anything that is true and eternal? NO WAY BABY!!!
     God bless and keep you Ms. Jill