The real deal!!

   Well beloved what a weekend! While I am so glad I went to the Joyce Meyer's conference with some wonderful ladies I also have to tell you it was not all roses. As in any journey God takes us on their were highs and lows!
   To start with I want to say I thoroughly enjoyed hearing Joyce speak. She is anointed to do what she has been called to. Her words are directly from God they are spoken in a way that is true to the woman God created her to be! When she talks, I so can hear my granny speaking to me again, and I was so blessed by that. It is an amazing gift to witness a woman being true to the woman she knows she is in God! While I did not enjoy the hard push for donations prior to each session. I appreciate the generous charities that she and her people are involved in, I really believe they are changing lives! I think her struggles have been so closely related to my own that her words were extremely applicable, and I am thankful to have had the opportunity to hear them.
   I loved spending time with so many of the ladies we were with and enjoyed hearing their stories and getting to know them better. I have never laughed so hard as I did in the car with Vickie and Sherrie and Lori on the way up and back! I have a safe and hilarious soul sister in Terrie I loved her before, and knew she was beautiful inside and out, but getting to see how truly beautiful she is inside is amazing!! And what a joy to spend time with the rest of the ladies, I regret that I wasn't able to spend time with all of the ladies and that they missed out on the sharing and laughter we shared before the sessions. It's really too bad.
   That being said, I've told you before of my struggle with depresion and anxiety. I cannot always explain what causes me to be overcome by it again, but man I did! We had gone to lunch at a small family style restraunt and all 14 of these ladies and myself sat together in a large booth. I could feel myself becoming anxious, but man I did not want to show weakness or bring attention to myself! You know because i'm that important and people think I'm perfect!(dripping with sarcasm) I then proceeded to have a full on panic attack and immediately began beating myself up for it. I am so stupid and what is wrong with me and now all these women I've just met will begin to form opinions of me because of this!!!!!
   Well, it turns out very few people knew it had even happened. It made me feel foolish but it was something completely outside of my control. I don't think anyone would choose to feel this way. As far as stupid, kids I  may not be a rocket scientist but I am far from stupid. And for the opinions of the other ladies these were good Christian women and though I doubt they formed any opinions of me, if they did that is on their conscience not mine!
   So here is the deal I will not let this define the weekend for me and I will not hide it. Because Satan would love that! He loves for us to live in denial and wear a mask of shame. I have chosen to live a very transparent Christian walk, and in that choice have been praised and berated. However I have to follow God's instructions. It is that simple and he has called me to live this life of openess and as badly as I want lie and say it was all wonderful...Colossians 3: 9 says do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with it's practices. So I'm trying to do better and will continue to be transparent.
   God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill

Father knows best!

   I have been waiting on a car since I totalled mine 2 or 3 weeks ago. I found one I thought I liked and we went over and drove it and it was the cutest blue and we did all the paperwork and everything was fine and I literally felt my tummy turn and I told Rick we needed to talk. I said I don't know why but I feel absolutely no peace about this. We told the very sweet salesman that we needed to go home and pray about it and that we would let him know.
   I was so mad. I told Rick what is wrong with me? He said "I don't know but whenever the holy spirit has spoken before it's always been a good thing." He said "we don't want to rush this momma". Well he may not have wanted to rush it, but i sure did!! Have you ever tried to run two kids and dogs and hubby to all their activities as well as your own in one vehicle?! LOL But one thing I have learned in my life is if I will listen to my Father's voice I will find peace, and if I do not He will continue to repeat himself to His petulant child.
   It always impresses me to look back over my journey with God! All the things I wanted, compared to all the things He has given me! I look back and my vision for myself was so much smaller then His vision for me and I realize that HIS LOVE IS EXTRAVAGANT! He saw me married to my best friend, Momma to two of the absolute coolest people I have ever had the privilege to know, with girlfriends who would gladly drop anything to be there for me and one another. He saw me as a member of a church and emmaus community that loves me and builds me up. He saw me secure in the home of my dreams and needing nothing.
   So one of the things I am learning is I can and will wait on His plan. Proverbs 19: 21 says many are the plans in a persons heart, but it is the Lords purpose that prevails Thank God y'all!!! Can you imagine if all our plans prevailed? SCARY!!!
   So that being said we drove down the road and found a pretty red equinox and it was cheaper and had less miles and did I mention it was red! =) the car lot replaced the windshield (it had a crack) and one of the tires (it had a screw in it) and they are putting in a brand new radio that is compatible with my IPhone. And I absolutely feel at peace about this purchase!! See how much better it is when you take our Father's advice!
   God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill

I thank my God for you!!!!



Glory Girls



   My birthday is this coming Monday. I will be 38yr's old and as I've told you I was raised Jehovah's witness, so I have not celebrated 38 birthdays. I celebrated my first birthday on my 18th birthday with my husband and he brought me flowers and balloons and a gift. He also got me a cake and I remember thinking this is wonderful, no wonder so many people look forward to their birthdays! I felt loved and important to someone!

   Throughout the years, I have celebrated any number of ways with my husband. That being said I have never had a celebration put together by my girlfriends. Thursday my GG's gave me a surprise birthday get together. They  made my favorite cake! Thank you Lori, it was the most amazing pineapple upside down cake, and to Terry that bread rocked! Thank you all for the silly gag gifts and most of all thank you for taking the time to plan something that was so special and blessed my heart!! In all this I felt special and important to these ladies! And I hope they know how important they are to me!

   Proverbs 17: 17 says a friend loves at all times and a sister is born for adversity. I know I quote this scripture a lot, it is because it has always been my desire to have this kind of friendships. I have known these friendships as an adult and God continues to bless me with more and more! Philippians 1:3 says I thank my God every time I remember you! I couldn't make a truer statement. I thank my God for you all!
   God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill

Brought low by my own words....

   I screwed up this last weekend! I said very ugly things to my teenager when he was giving me attitude and being disrespectful this being said, I am so sorry! It has eaten at me for the last three days, and I need to offer my apologies to Chance. He did not deserve what I gave him and while I will not allow him to disrespect me, I also will not allow myself to disrespect him either and especially not in front of others. It was wrong and I will try not to let it happen again.
  Ecclisiastes 7: 9 Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools. Well color me foolish. I was provoked by my child into very ugly behavior. The same child that I love and admire. He will forgive me because he loves me, and I will mess up again because I am human. However, I want to teach my boys that when you mess up you should offer up apologies and ask for forgiveness. Proverbs 12:18 the words of the reckless pierce like swords but the tongue of the wise brings healing. So there you go, in reckless anger I hurt Chance and now I repent and hope these words will bring healing between us. I am brought low by my own words and hope these words will redeem me in his eyes. I love him and he is big enough to forgive my words! I thank God for him daily and for the relationship we have!
   Friends never be so proud you can't offer an apology to the one who deserves it.
   God bless and keep you Ms. Jill

A father's love

   My youngest son got in trouble at school this week and received in school suspension. This was his second trip to OCS. His first punishment was for finally defending himself against a boy who picks on him and many others. He was told by his father and I that if the other boy put his hands on him again he had every right to fight back. We also told him he would have a punishment at school but not at home. He served his three days and I was in full agreement with his school on the matter. There is a consequence for every action. However I do struggle with the fact that not all the children receive the same punishments. My child always seems to receive the harshest punishment available.
   Well little mister messed up again. He finds himself back in suspension. My husband was up most of the night because while he knew our son had done a portion of what he was accused of he did not believe he had done all of it. He believed His son! Today Hayden's father went to the school assuring them he knew his son had done things wrong and that he should be punished, but that he felt our son deserved mercy and compassion in these circumstances. We share the belief that he is seldom given the benefit of a doubt. They have decided he is rebellious and so look for it in his actions. It never occurs to them to speak with him and say Hayden you have always been such a good boy. You have seldom been in trouble, and carried straight A's until this year. What's going on? But see, his father knows him and knows his heart and where his motives lie. He knows Hayden is hurt and feels like an outsider in some school situations and since he is a ten year old boy he's not sure how to give voice to this at times.
   This made me think of our Father. He knows the hearts of his sons and daughters. He knows what motivates them and their actions and he knows when others have been quick to seek "justice' against but slow to show mercy towards them. And brothers and sisters he will be quick to go to bat for you. Now while Rick's actions made no difference in Hayden's "sentencing". It will make a difference to him the rest of his life in knowing his father is here for him. Our Father however, is all powerful to change whatever sentencing we should have received. He is full of mercy and compassion and desires to give what we don't deserve.
  Romans 6: 23 says for the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our lord. See we deserved the harshest punishment death and eternal damnation but what we received because of His grace and His mercy was eternal life spent with Him! Thank you God for your immeasurable compassion and thank you for giving my boys a father after your own heart!

In the Adams house we practice mercy woven parenting, by Angela Thomas. We want our home to operate under the principles Jesus reflected.
Jesus gives people second chances, we will too.
Jesus doesn't keep reminding people of their forgiven sins; we will stop bringing it up.
Jesus doesn't always give the full measure of punishment; We will follow his lead.
Jesus let wisdom guide his mercy; so will we.

   God bless and keep you Ms. Jill

Burn baby burn!

   A man or woman on fire for Christ, and their family? Man alive, there ain't nothing better!! Especially when that fire has just been lit! It is an awesome and inspiring thing to see! It is hard to look away from and it can cause many other fires in it's wake.
    So tell me when was the last time you truly burned for Christ? Was it right after receiving His offered up salvation? After he delivered you or someone you loved from a bad situation? I'm telling you boys and girls He is offering sparks in your lives day by day. Tiny miracles that go unnoticed by the naked eye. I remind you of this because I need the reminder as well! Don't think for one minute that I wake up with birds singing in my ears and little woodland creatures approaching my beautiful cottage in the perfect woodland meadow where the sun is always shining. Nope my life gets crazy and trying. The crazy winds of this storm filled life can either ignite your fire higher if you lean on the Lord or blow it out entirely if you allow this world and Satan to steal the air from it
   Hebrews 12:29 says for our God is a consuming fire. So I urge you to feed the fire. Do not let it go out. We know that God is always there and desires to set ablaze the cold dormant parts of our hearts, lives and minds. I want people to catch fire for the Lord just cause they stood to close to this little firestarter and I want the same for you!
   God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill

Don't ask! I won't play!

   Laying it all down at the altar of God is amazingly freeing. I had a very emotional weekend. I hate when my hubby is gone but I love all of the worship services I attended this weekend. I was surrendered in worship through song and sang all to Jesus I surrender and realized I hadn't. It truly was like a slap in the face! I told him are you kidding me I have every right to be angry. How many times do I have to put up with crap? And He said how many times do I? I am God sovereign and I've told you what to do and you don't do it. It hurts me and yet time and again you do it. So I told Him right there alright I'll let go I just can't be angry anymore and so I spoke with a brother and told Him so. I don't know what is true of our past. I don't know what was said and what wasn't. But, I do know I'm leaving it all with God. And when it begins to rise up again, I will not be party to it any longer. It is embarrassing to know that other parts of the body saw this part was sick and ailing, and I feel it probably stole a little joy from them. I certainly know it contributed to gossip! So as far as it concerns me and my presence I will not listen speak or participate any longer. Love peace and blessings to all of you! Know that we are loved but accountable by and to the Father!
   God bless and keep you, Ms Jill

You got two ears for listening =)

   It is a very cold but beautiful morning here in Sweetwater. 28* I slept in and I needed it desperately. I find sometimes I just need to be still and know that He is God(Psalm 46: 10) I am always so busy and running around like a crazy woman. I am currently teaching two bible studies and active in church and emmaus and my kids school functions, and charities in our community. I am a mom and wife and a full time nurse. And in the middle of this crazy beautiful storm I call life it is sometimes hard to hear God's still small voice. He is always there he is always talking to me. But sometimes I just don't hear or don't listen. I've even thought sometimes; God I know your there but give me just a minute to finish some things up. Ever been there? Oh, ok God, I'll be right with you.
   So today I am resting in Him. I need it, and so do you. It's a hard thing to keep a relationship when you are the only one talking. He is the love of mine and your lives. Who else can you say would literally go to their death so that you wouldn't have to?! So we need to be sure to spend that time in silence listening for the voice of the lover of our souls. Being renewed and refreshed in Him. Being taken from an unwise path and placed back in the way we should go. Yep I have made some unwise choices with Him screaming in my ear "Run baby this is not good for you." lol
   So today I will spend some time with my "Daddy" and listen to his sound advice and words of encouragement and strength. He loves us so much we are His little girls and precious sons. And I want to remember the sound of His voice and the feel of His love today. Then praise God. I get to go pick up my best friend and Love. And listen to all that God has done in his heart and the hearts of many men around him. But for now me and my Beloved Daddy have some conversing to do!
   God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill

God sets the lonely in families! AMEN AMEN AND AGAIN AMEN!!!

   So tonight like most of the wives who's husbands are serving on the walk I miss my honey! I know he will be home in a couple of days and thank God because I am lost without that man! I met Rick when I was 16yrs old and have been in love with Him most of my life. He is kind and selfless. Rick absolutely comes last in all his decision making. He is fiercly protective of me and our boys. He says God gave him this family and he takes that responsibility seriously.

   My life before Rick was tumultuous to say the least. I struggled with a deep depresion and I was being eaten alive by insecurities and feelings of not good enough. I had never known family in the sense of loyalty and respect. I had never been told I had value beyond my outer appearance. But this weird, funny, kind man thought I was funny and smart. He saw a good heart that was covered by a hard protective shell and he was willing to slowly chip away at it. Now my heart melts for this man because I know I am safe with him in all things. I always wanted the family that he and I strive to give to our boys and that God has given to me. Psalm 68:6 says God sets the lonely in families. How good is that guys?! I ask how wonderful is it that someone as lonely and scarred as me was allowed such a soft hearted openely loving man to raise my precious boys with! He has instilled in our boys a sense of pride in being who they are he is consistently telling them how good they are because they are who God has created them to be. How like our heavenly father to be so pleased with His children being who they were created to be and not asking them to be a carbon copy of what the world wants them to be.
   So all this being said I miss my best friend. My fellow freak of nature. And I am glad that after almost 21yrs of marriage God has blessed our bond and I am eat up with longing for my beloved! Not only do I love this man in amazing measure. But I also like him! I enjoy my time with him and could still spend half the night just being with him and talking and laughing! I pray the same is true for your marriage. If it's not pray for it and take steps to make this your reality. Always remember that marriage is hard work but you will reep tremendous rewards!

   God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill

Second verse same as the first?!

   I am always so impressed to be in the presence of God's people. I love being a part of something so good and right! I have been a party to many a bad and wrong thing in my life and I can tell you "this" kicks "thats" butt. Lol. I am impressed to watch good families loving one another and others around them. I also have to say it is a blessing to see those who you know are not each others biggest fans but they are respectful and considerate of one another, because it's right and it is an outward sign of their maturity in Christ. A wise man told me once that some people have stronger personalities and some have softer personalities, and though we may not be best friends seeking one another out to spend time with, we can be respectful and love one another with the love of Christ. I know that at times I have been a success in this and at times I have failed miserably in this task. Now this does not mean that others around me have always succeeded either, but I'm not responsible for others attempts only for mine. Same goes for you kid! So I find myself singing second verse same as the first (haha), but you know, how many times did the disciples have to go over and over a thing before they got it right and they had Jesus right there holding their hands! So I tire of drama and have decided to denounce my role as a leading lady in it! I praise God for all that he is, I praise him for creating so many different people and so many different personalities! I praise him that where some with very strong personalities will be loved by others and edified in those relationships (I am proof of this) He also provides relationships for those softer personalities. And as far as it depends on me I will be peaceable and if this means avoiding hurtful situations even when they seem innocent I will do so until I am as strong as my personality and can handle it in a Christlike manner! Titus 3:9-10 says avoid foolish controversies because these are unprofitable and useless. Warn a divisive person once and then warn them a second time after that have nothing to do with them. Now I don't believe this means write them off forever but I do believe it means if you know that close contact and conversation will result in conflict or hurt then avoid that contact until God tells you otherwise! Praise God for this sound advice!
   God bless and keep you Ms. Jill

Funny and silly and pleasing to God!





Me and Lori

Marchelle Georgia and Terrie

LynnAnn and Mitzi

   I am a grown woman  and I cannot wait till my girlfriends get here tonight and we can make T-shirts and agape gifts. We will eat pizza and drink sodas and laugh till we can't stand it! I love this part of my life where we can be at rest and laughing and just being silly and girlie! Should what we do be pleasing to the Lord? Yep! And I think it is! I think when he looks down and sees us loving one another and laughing together He just grins from ear to ear! I know whenever I catch my kids laughing together and being silly I think Hallelujah, Lord let it last haha!! And in Eccliseastes 3: 12-13 it says I know there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil - this is a gift from God! See God knows we His children need this. He created us and knows it does our hearts good to be in His service with Joy and a lighthearted spirit. May the joy of the Lord fill your heart and home at every oppurtunity, and may the trials of this world not bring you down!

   God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill







Ame and Sonya



Beverly me Jana and Leisa
Sassy sopranos



















Dazzling reminders!

I firmly believe God can heal the hardest hearts! But first they must be broken. That hard shell has to be removed. But watch out because once a hardened heart has been broken it is amazing to watch the flood that follows. God will begin making those changes quickly and of his own accord. He only needs to be prompted to begin a work and redeem a life! He truly is so good! At times I think we become accustomed to His glory and his reminders are dazzling! I have to tell you there is almost nothing as breathtaking as watching someone so far away from what God has created them to be becoming more and more the image of the Fathers perfect plan! To God be the glory in all things!
   Psalm 73: 21-24 When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory!
   God bless and keep you Ms. Jill

Do a little dance!!

David is absolutely one of my favorite men of the bible! He was a man after God's own heart. He was also flawed beyond belief. Time and time again throughout the old testament we see David fall and rise again with God's help. In 1st Chronicles it speaks of a time when David was going to bring back to God's people the Ark of the covenant of God. David prepared a place for the Ark and built a tent for it. He commissioned the Levites to bring the Ark home. He ordered them to consecrate themselves and properly carry the Ark. See this is where the spirit of God dwelled and that deserved his respect and reverence. However this was also a celebration to be sure! He invited all of the tribes of Israel to come along. He commissioned fabulous musicians and talented choirs to come. 1Chronicles 15: 16 says and fill the air with joyful sound (msg) In verse 25 it speaks of all the people who went and it says they went rejoicing! The Levites thankful to God paused and worshipped through sacrifice of the seven bulls and seven rams. They were all dressed in elegant linens and David wore a prayer shawl. All Israel parading, shouting and cheering playing loud beautiful music! They marched into the city this way and in 1Chronicles15: 29 (msg) says When the chest of the covenant of God entered the city of David, Michal, Saul's daughter, was watching from a window. When she saw King David dancing ecstatically she was filled with contempt! When I read this a lot of things jumped to the front of my mind. First of all, all of Israel was in the streets worshiping singing and dancing. Why was Michal up in her room? This was not a quick get together. This was not David running to the store to pick up the Ark. This was a day of celebration for God's people, and HER HUSBAND. And she stayed in her room and when she saw this Man dancing and singing in full surrender to God she was Angry to say the least. Wow it seems so out of character with the story we are hearing! But how many times in our current church do we see someone who is being loved on and raised up by fellow Christians and feel jealous or slighted. How many times do you see someone in full surrender and worship and question it even grow angry because of it? I hope your answer is never. I hope you find a time in your life to be a spectacle for Christ! As long as you are heartfelt in it God is well pleased and it does not matter the opinions of others. I feel sad for Michal as she stood and watched all the people she knew and loved rejoicing and could find no joy in it. All this being said I hope for us all to be true and genuine in our walk and me most of all!
   God bless and keep you, Ms. Jill

Pray anyway =/

So right now my heart is a little heavy =(  I grow tired of human games and the hurtful situations we create for ourselves. As I pray for someone I know they are using this time to voice their unflattering opinions of me even while sweetly smiling in my face. I will continue to pray for them because it is God's will. And I will pray that God will continue to soften my heart in this situation. He already is to some degree. He loves these ladies and knows the hurts, pains, and insecurities they carry. I know of them to a small degree, what they have shared. However I will never know them as well as my Father God does and I lack the imeasurable capacity for empathy and compassion that He has always known.
   I am easily influenced by the opinions others carry of me. This is against everything my Jesus teaches! Proverbs29:25 (msg) says the fear of human opinion disables; trusting in God protects you from that. I know from speaking with other women that I am not the only Christian daughter who has ever placed too much weight in what another hurting, angry woman said or thought of me. I forget that God has called me chosen, beloved, daughter! I begin to wonder how many others have they talked with and do they believe these things about me? Well guess what? Probably so! But there is nothing you can do to change it and I don't know that you should even try. We are commanded to love one another! John 15: 12 My command is this: Love one another as I have Loved you. Well that's pretty straight forward. He doesn't say if they love you then you love them. He doesn't say when they make the right choices Love them. Because friends that's not how He loved us. He loved us when we were yet in our sin. (Rom 5:8) So believe me I am imperfect in this and still struggling myself. I'm very human and it hurts me and I struggle with it and it is unfair, Still, I will choose to let God define me! And I am more than a conqueror and so are you! We Church are coheirs with Christ! Will everyone see that in us? No. Will they touch and tarnish our crowns? Yes. Will that change anything that is true and eternal? NO WAY BABY!!!
     God bless and keep you Ms. Jill